25 Thought-Provoking Questions to Help You Be the Best Wife You Can Be

Are you overwhelmed trying to juggle your life’s roles — mother, wife, career woman? Do you often wonder if there’s something more you should do to ensure you are a great partner and spouse in your marriage? 

Don’t worry! 

There’s no one-size-fits-all formula for becoming the perfect wife. All it takes is an intentional commitment to grow, weather challenges, and keep the spark alive! 

Below are 25 questions that will start a conversation to open up communication channels on trust, support, and loyalty – so let’s begin creating even better marriages today!

My Not-So-Proud Moments as a Wife

Picture this: you’re seconds away from uttering something hurtful to your husband, and you just know it will sting. Then, once the words escape your lips, you’re filled with shame and regret. 

Sound familiar? 

Well, let me tell you, I’ve been there more times than I care to admit.

My particular talent was complaining about, well, everything in my husband’s life. His career, his treasured job, his friends – if it was a part of his life, chances are I had something negative to say about it.

But I could see the pain in his eyes every time I vented my frustrations. My husband was doing his best to juggle it all, but nothing seemed to satisfy me.

A Moment of Clarity

It took years of grumbling, but one day I finally had enough of my own discontent. I thought, “I can’t change his decisions, but I can choose to focus on the positives.”

That’s when I realized I needed to take a long, hard look in the mirror. 

Was I really holding up my end of the bargain as a wife? Was I actively searching for ways to be a better partner? It’s all too easy to point fingers in a marriage, but facing our shortcomings is an entirely different story.

25 Questions to Ask Yourself

So, I challenge you, dear reader, to embark on a journey of self-reflection with me. Ask yourself these 25 questions and see where you have room to grow as a spouse. Let’s turn those not-so-proud moments into opportunities for growth and make our marriages stronger than ever before.

1. Speaking Respectfully: The Gossip Test
Imagine you’re at a get-together, and someone brings up a juicy piece of gossip about their spouse. Tempting, isn’t it? But stop and ask yourself: Do I speak respectfully about my husband to others? Remember, words have power, and it’s important to honor your relationship by showing respect, even when he’s not around.

2. Am I intentional about how I spend my time?
Remember when you spent hours binge-watching your favorite show while your husband was doing chores around the house? Yeah, we’ve all been there. But have you ever wondered if maybe you could have used that time more effectively? Like, say, helping him out or spending quality time with him? It’s important to prioritize your relationship and ensure that you’re both trying to keep the love alive.

3. Am I honest with him about what I need from him?
You know that thing he does that drives you crazy? No, not the snoring, the other thing. Have you ever actually talked to him about how it makes you feel? Sometimes, we avoid tough conversations because we don’t want to hurt our partner’s feelings. But bottling up those emotions can lead to resentment and even more significant issues down the road. So, take a deep breath, and have an open, honest conversation about your needs and expectations.

4. Do I know my husband’s love language?
As you’re reading this, you might be thinking, “What in the world is a love language?” Well, it’s a concept introduced by Dr. Gary Chapman that suggests there are five ways people express and receive love: words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch. If you’re not familiar with your husband’s love language, it might be time to do a little research and figure out how you can better communicate your love for him in a way that truly resonates.

5. Do I check in on how my husband is doing?
Life can get hectic, and sometimes we forget to ask our partners how they’re doing. Set aside some time to check in with your husband, even if it’s just a simple “Hey, how was your day?” It’s essential to show him that you care about his well-being and that you’re there to support him through life’s ups and downs.

6. Have I seen a counselor (alone or as a couple) help me work through past hurts and receive marriage tune-ups?
Imagine your relationship as a car. Much like a car, it needs regular maintenance to keep running smoothly. If you’re feeling stuck or have unresolved issues affecting your marriage, it might be time to seek professional help. Whether it’s individual therapy or couples counseling, investing in the health of your relationship can lead to a happier, more fulfilling future together.

7. The Art of Initiation: Putting the “S” in Spontaneity
Now, let’s talk about the bedroom. Ask yourself: Do I initiate sex sometimes? Intimacy is a crucial part of any relationship, and taking the lead can be an empowering and exciting way to keep the spark alive. So surprise your partner with your boldness and watch the fireworks unfold!

8. Am I Sherlock Holmes-ing my husband?
Do you remember when your husband came home late, and you assumed he was up to no good? Or when he forgot to take out the trash, and you were convinced it was part of a grand plan to drive you nuts? Maybe it’s time to put down the detective hat and give your husband the benefit of the doubt. After all, we’re all human and make mistakes. So next time he slips up, try to assume the best instead of the worst.

9. Are my kids the center of my universe?
Of course, you love your children and want to give them the best life possible. But have you ever stopped to think about how your husband might feel when he’s constantly put on the back burner? Prioritizing your spouse doesn’t mean neglecting your children – it’s about creating a balance that allows your family to thrive. So schedule that date night, ask your husband about his day, and remember that you’re not just a mom but a wife too.

Recommended Reading: How Children & Parenting Derail Intimacy

10. Am I a negativity magnet?
It’s easy to focus on your husband’s weaknesses – after all, they’re what drive you up the wall. But what about his strengths? Remember when he surprised you with breakfast in bed or when he fixed that leaky faucet you’d been nagging about for months? Focusing on the positives can help you better appreciate your husband and foster a more loving relationship. So next time you’re tempted to dwell on his flaws, try countering them with a few of his shining qualities.

11. Am I a relationship scholar?
Just like you never stop learning in your career or hobbies, your marriage can always benefit from some extra knowledge. Are you regularly seeking resources that help you discover ways to be a better wife? Whether it’s a book, podcast, or blog, investing time in learning about relationships can pay off dividends in your marriage.

12. Are we having fun yet?
Remember those early days of your relationship when you laughed together, went on adventures, and simply enjoyed each other’s company? Don’t let those moments be a distant memory. Intentionally create moments of fun with your husband, whether it’s a spontaneous dance party in the kitchen or planning a weekend getaway. Keeping the fun alive in your relationship can help keep the spark burning bright.

Recommended Reading: 55 Spontaneous Day Date Ideas

13. The Grace Game: Forgiving Fumbles
Let’s face it, no one’s perfect. We all make mistakes, and it’s important to offer grace to our partners when they slip up. So, do you give your husband that much-needed forgiveness and understanding? If not, try to remind yourself of your own imperfections and remember that love is about growth and learning together.

14. Am I in a community of women who speak respectfully, not poorly, about their husbands?
Surrounding yourself with positivity is like a breath of fresh air. It’s contagious and uplifting. So, if you find yourself in a group that constantly badmouths their partners, it might be time to seek out a more supportive and respectful community.

15. Do I sometimes text him to say something sweet or flirty?
Remember the time when you and your partner were just dating? Those butterflies and flirty messages? It’s time to bring back those memories by sending him a sweet or flirtatious text. After all, a little bit of playfulness goes a long way in keeping the spark alive.

16. Do I encourage him?
We all need a cheerleader in our corner, someone who believes in us, especially when we’re doubting ourselves. Be that person for your husband. Encourage him in his endeavors and celebrate his victories, no matter how big or small.

17. Do I allow him to lead our family in his unique way?
Every person has their own leadership style, and your husband is no exception. Giving him the space and support to lead your family in his own way shows trust and respect and can create a stronger bond between you.

18. Do I prioritize my health to be the best version of myself?
You know how they say you can’t pour from an empty cup? It’s true! Prioritizing your health and well-being is essential to being the best version of yourself, not just for your husband but for your entire family. So, lace up those sneakers, grab a salad, and treat yourself to some self-care – you deserve it!

19. Praying for Your Partner: A Spiritual Connection
For many, a strong spiritual connection is essential in a relationship. Do you pray for your husband? Whether wishing him well in your thoughts or seeking divine guidance, taking a moment to send positive energy his way can work wonders in strengthening your bond.

Recommended Reading: 7 Powerful Prayers For Your Husband

20. Confiding in Your Partner: Building Trust and Intimacy
Think about the last time you shared a secret or frustration with a friend or family member. Was it something you should have talked about with your husband instead? Do I confide in my friends or family members more than my husband? If yes, try opening up to your partner more often and watch your bond grow stronger.

21. Apologies: The Art of Swallowing Your Pride
Remember when you accidentally ruined your husband’s favorite shirt once, and instead of apologizing, you tried to convince him it looked better that way? Yeah, not your finest moment. Do I freely and quickly apologize when I hurt my husband? If not, it’s time to swallow your pride and embrace the power of a heartfelt apology.

22. Setting Boundaries: Keeping Your Relationship Safe and Secure
Imagine you’re at a party and in a deep conversation with an attractive stranger. Suddenly, you realize you’ve crossed a line and are treading on dangerous territory. Do I have healthy boundaries with members of the opposite sex? If not, it’s time to establish some limits and protect your relationship from potential threats.

23. Transparency: The Key to Trust and Respect
Picture your husband going through your phone one day and stumbling upon a hurtful message or an incriminating email. How would that make him feel? Would my husband find anything incriminating or hurtful in my email, text messages, or private social media communication? If so, it’s time to clean up your digital life and show your partner that you have nothing to hide.

24. Do I try to connect with their family and friends?
It’s like a movie flashback scene. Suddenly, you’re transported to various moments in your relationship where you may not have been as intentional with connecting with your partner’s loved ones. Remember the time you bailed on his best friend’s birthday party because you “weren’t feeling well.” Or when you didn’t attend his sister’s baby shower, even though you had no other plans that day. Perhaps now is when you start trying to connect with your partner’s loved ones.

25. The Money Matters: Making Wise Financial Decisions
Last but not least, let’s talk about finances. Do you make wise choices when it comes to managing your household budget? Remember, money can be a significant source of stress in any relationship, and being responsible with your spending can make a world of difference in fostering a harmonious partnership.

Conclusion

All of us have had challenging moments as wives, but that’s ok.

Experiencing moments of doubt, reflection, and inner struggle can help keep our relationships happy and healthy long term. The key is constantly assessing and reflecting on oneself to make the positive changes necessary for personal growth.

We must strive to be the best wife we can be for ourselves and our partners by addressing the tough questions before we reach a breaking point.

This is not an easy task, but if you are dedicated to it, you’ll likely find that not only your relationship will benefit, but your life as well! So go forth, beloveds – if there was ever a time to try introspection, deep-diving into understanding yourself as a Wife with full transparency, then this is it!

Leave a comment below to tell us how answering the questions went or share any related stories you’ve experienced with us – we’d love to hear them! And don’t forget: like, subscribe, and share for more content – until next time!

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