Unlock the Scriptural Definition of Marriage

What Scriptural Marriage Means

It’s common for those who believe to have questions about marriage; what does the Bible say about this sacred union? Is a ceremony necessary or just a man-made tradition? What makes a marriage covenant valid in the Lord God’s eyes?

Before diving into the answers, let’s explore what the Bible says about marriage. There’s so much we can uncover and discover together – are you ready to jump in?

9 Verses on Marriage Covenant

1. Ephesians 5:22–31 – Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now, as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church—30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

In Ephesians 5:21-33, Paul presents submission as a crucial aspect of a marriage that honors God. Wives are instructed to submit to their own husbands, and husbands are charged with loving their own wives, reflecting the ultimate demonstration of love as shown by Jesus Christ. It’s important to note that submission is not about women blindly obeying men but a reflection of the created order and a submission to the husband’s ultimate leadership. Both men and women were created equally in God’s image (Gen. 1:26-28).

The role of husbands in sanctifying their wives is also highlighted in these verses. While they can’t wash away their wife’s sins, they are called to lead their wives to the service of God. The symbolism of “washing of water” used in Ephesians 5 may refer to baptism and the washing away of sins. Overall, Paul’s guidance for marriage relationships is centered on Jesus Christ and his example of selfless love.

2. Genesis 2:18 – The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

In Genesis 2, God wants to find a suitable partner for man. In the quest for a helper fit for him, God presents all the field’s livestock, birds, and beasts to the man. Unfortunately, none of these are “fit for” the man.

Therefore God proceeds to create a woman as Adam’s helper, one who would strengthen him in the areas where he was lacking (the term helper doesn’t imply that the helper is stronger or weaker than the one being helped). It’s important to note that “fit for him” doesn’t mean “like him.” A wife is not her husband’s copy but rather complements him.

Recommended Reading: True Meaning of "Helper" in the Bible

3. Matthew 19:4–6 – “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ 5 and said, ‘For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Marriage is much more than a human agreement. It’s a God-ordained marriage where two single souls bind together to become one flesh. This spiritual union creates a profound and mysterious connection unique to any other relationship, with exclusive rights and responsibilities given by God.

When husband and wife become one, they share a unity beyond sexual intimacy, although that’s also an important aspect. They leave their parents’ home to build a family, where loyalty lies first and foremost with each other.

Rather than getting caught up in the debate on divorce with the Pharisees, Jesus takes us back to the beginning to reveal the beauty of God’s plan for marriage. It’s a lifelong commitment between a man and a woman that’s sanctified through physical union, as stated in Genesis 2:24.

4. 1 Peter 3:7 – Husbands, in the same way, be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Peter has some great advice for husbands! Even though his message is brief, he takes the time to address a few important topics.

For starters, when husbands enter a covenant relationship, they should live in a way that makes their wives feel heard and understood. Now, there is a debate on how to interpret the phrase “weaker vessel.” Some people argue that it means women are weaker in terms of authority, emotions, or strength.

But Peter is likely saying that men are physically stronger than women and must be careful not to abuse that strength. To think otherwise would be ungodly! At the end of the day, whether you’re male or female, we all share an equal destiny as heirs of God’s grace. Peter tells men that our prayers will go unanswered if we abuse our strength.

5. Hebrews 13:4 – Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

A marriage covenant is a wonderful thing to be treasured and honored. Purity plays a vital role in maintaining a healthy relationship. Remember, God doesn’t approve of those who engage in sexual activities outside of their marriage. Adultery is a severe issue in God’s sight.

This is particularly important for the church’s members, as they should be genuine Christian believers. If someone falls short, it doesn’t mean they will go to hell. Instead, they will be subject to disciplinary judgment in this life or lose their reward (potentially divorce). However, if we look at the warning passages earlier, we see that sexual immorality could indicate that someone is not a true believer or not born again. It’s worth keeping this in mind!

Recommended Reading: Rekindle the Spark: How to Overcome a Sexless Marriage 

6. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 – Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

Teamwork makes the dream work! As the saying goes, “Two heads are better than one.” Work alongside a partner, and you’re sure to reap the rewards, especially when you need a helping hand. Collaboration beats competition any day. Don’t isolate yourself from others by trying to be number one. Join forces with your spouse and pursue God’s kingdom together!

Recommended Reading: How to Build a Christ-Centered Marriage

7. Genesis 2:23–24 – 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

When no suitable companion was found among all the living beings, God fashioned a woman from the man’s own flesh. Now that’s one special bond! When Adam saw Eve, he exclaimed, “This, at last, is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh.”

It’s clear that a covenant marriage creates the closest of all human relationships, and the story of Eve’s creation reinforces this point. Plus, it’s worth noting that God made only one Eve for Adam, not several or another Adam. This highlights the divine pattern of heterosexual monogamy that God established at creation.

Moreover, the kinship between husband and wife creates a special obligation that supersedes the duty to one’s parents (therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, Gen. 2:24). It’s like starting a new chapter in one’s life where the partner becomes a priority.

Back in ancient Israel, sons would live close to their family and inherit their father’s land upon marriage. However, they would “leave” their parents in the sense of placing their wife’s well-being before their parents’ interests. The term “hold fast” refers to practicing loyal commitment, like God’s faithful covenant with His people. Other texts in the Bible even describe marriage as a covenant, emphasizing its importance and sanctity.

Recommended Reading: 9 Ways to Show Your Spouse That They Are #1 In Your Life 

8. Isaiah 62:5 – As a young man marries a young woman, so will your Builder marry you; as a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.

Isaiah’s poetic imagery leaves an overwhelming impression of joy, delight, righteousness, beauty, safety, and peace. We see God delighting in His people like a bridegroom in his bride, expressing an inexpressible joy and delight.

But God’s plan of salvation goes beyond protecting, healing, providing, and restoring – it reconciles us to one another, transforms us to be righteous, and honors us. His love even exalts us above all nations and makes us a blessing to all. Above all these things, God actively delights in His people.

9. 1 Corinthians 7:2–5 – But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Did you know that God created a marriage covenant to express human sexuality? 

Paul says that to sustain a happy marriage, the Corinthians were commanded to be faithful, avoid divorce, and be content in their calling. In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul addresses this topic and emphasizes that sexual relations should be kept within marriage. He explains that God designed marriage as a special bond with both spiritual and relational benefits.

One practical benefit was sex within the context of marriage. Paul tells us that it reduces the temptation to engage in sexual sin. So, take note if you’re married, investing time and effort into this intimate relationship is essential for your well-being and happiness.

By exploring the scriptures above, we can better understand marriage.

But if you are perusing the Bible, you will also see things – like how “Lamech took two wives” (Genesis 4:19). This certainly doesn’t mean the Bible is endorsing polygamy. It casts doubt on it.

Take a closer look at Lamech’s role in the text. Lamech’s role is to show a gradual hardening of sin as humans went on to invent several social evils.

Traditionally There Are 3 Positions in Biblical Marriage

Have you ever wondered at what point does God consider a man and a woman to be married? While the Bible does not provide a clear answer, identifying the precise moment can be a complex task. Check out the top three viewpoints people often hold:

1. Legally Married

God only considers a man and woman married when they are legally married, in the eyes of the law.

2. Covenantal Vows

A man and woman are married in God’s eyes when they partake in a formal wedding ceremony that involves covenantal vows.

3. Sexual Intercourse

God considers a man and woman married from the moment they engage in sexual intercourse. Let’s take a moment to evaluate each viewpoint, examine their strengths and weaknesses, and see if we can determine what constitutes marriage according to the Bible.

1. Legally married – God only considers a man and woman married when they are legally married, in the eyes of the law.

Marriage is a sacred commitment, and God recognizes the union when you get legally married. According to biblical principles, couples must submit themselves to the governing authority as long as it aligns with God’s Word and is reasonable.

Romans 13:1–2 states, Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.

Therefore, if your government requires specific procedures and paperwork to be completed before recognizing a marriage, it’s essential to follow that process. Trust that God’s hand is in this, and it is the right way to go!

However, there are some weaknesses and potential problems with this view:

• Marriage existed before any government was organized. For thousands of years, people were getting married with no such thing as a marriage license.

• Even today, some countries have no governmental recognition of marriage or legal requirements for marriage.

• Some governments place unbiblical requirements on marriage before it is legally recognized. For example, some countries require weddings to be held in a Catholic church, according to Catholic teachings, and overseen by a Catholic priest. Obviously, for those who strongly disagree with the Catholic Church and the Catholic understanding of marriage as a sacrament, it would be unbiblical to submit to marriage in the Catholic Church.

• To make the legitimacy of the marriage union solely dependent on government statutes is to indirectly sanction the statutory definition of marriage, which may fluctuate.

2. Covenantal vows – A man and woman are married in God’s eyes when they partake in a formal wedding ceremony that involves covenantal vows.

Some scholars believe that Adam and Eve’s union in Eden could be interpreted as the first-ever “ceremony” joining two people together.

Interestingly, Jesus himself attended a wedding in the Book of John chapter 2. We know that Jesus would not have attended such an event if He disapproved of what was occurring. While Christ’s presence there doesn’t necessarily mean that God requires weddings, it shows He accepts them.

Wedding ceremonies have been a part of pretty much every culture throughout history. That’s because there’s always been some event, covenant, or vow to declare a man and woman to be married.

However, wedding ceremonies aren’t really prescribed in the Scriptures. So, while we might expect a ceremony to be a part of getting hitched, we can’t say for certain whether it’s the moment when our dear Lord actually pronounces you married.

3. Intercourse – God considers a man and woman married from the moment they engage in sexual intercourse.

Marriage is a topic hotly contested in religious circles. While some believe intercourse is what seals the marital deal, others argue it’s just the cherry on top of a wedded union. According to Genesis 2:24, Matthew 19:5, and Ephesians 5:31, the “one flesh” principle is what binds a couple as husband and wife.

But can sex really signify a covenant between two people for life? This concept might create dissonance for some because, legally and ceremonially, couples can still be considered married, even if they don’t consummate physically. It’s worth noting that God’s definition of marriage isn’t only reliant on a physical connection, but it’s crucial to remember that the “one flesh” principle serves as a spiritual connection.

In the Old Testament, wives are distinguished from concubines; the latter was considered a separate category. King Rehoboam had 18 wives and 60 concubines (wow!). Interestingly, the concubines who had sex with him weren’t mentioned as wives.

According to 1 Corinthians 7:2, sex before marriage is considered immoral. Some argue that having sex means the couple is married, but is that really the case? However, from what we can tell, there is no biblical basis for an unmarried couple to have sex and then declare themselves to be married, thereby declaring all future sexual relations moral and God-honoring.

What Establishes a Marriage According to the Bible?

From what we can fathom, it’s not one approach individually, but all three together constitute a biblical marriage:

1. A man and woman must seek reasonable, Bible-approved government recognition.

2. Following cultural, familial, and covenantal traditions that recognize a couple as “officially married” is key.

3. Consummating the marriage helps fulfill the sacred “one flesh” principle.

The Bible Defines Marriage as a Covenant

Marriage is a beautiful thing! The original blueprint sketched by God in Genesis 2:24 describes how one man [Adam] and one woman [Eve] united to become one flesh. This sacred union is the foundation for a healthy relationship between man, woman, and God.

In Malachi 2:14, we learn that marriage is a holy covenant. The Jewish custom of signing a written agreement at the time of marriage sealed this covenant. The marriage ceremony itself is a public demonstration of a couple’s commitment to each other and to the covenant relationship they share.

Marriage is about the lifelong covenant commitment before God and others that marriage represents. By building our relationships on this foundation, we can experience the beauty and joy that God intends for us.

Biblical Traditions

The Ketubah (marriage contract) is read aloud in its original Aramaic language during traditional Jewish wedding ceremonies. It outlines the husband’s responsibilities to care for his wife’s emotional and physical needs, including providing food, shelter, and clothing.

The Ketubah is so essential that the marriage isn’t considered official until the groom signs and presents it to the bride. It’s a beautiful demonstration of commitment, both morally and legally.

This document is then signed by two witnesses and plays a vital role in Jewish couples’ lives. Without it, it’s forbidden for couples to live together. This covenant represents the relationship between God and His people, Israel.

For Christians, marriage represents the relationship between Christ and His Bride, the Church. It is a spiritual representation of our relationship with God. Even though the Bible doesn’t give specific directions about wedding ceremonies, several passages mention weddings. For example, Jesus attended a wedding in John 2, and wedding ceremonies are a well-established tradition in Jewish history and in Bible times.

While we may not know the moment, God views two people as married. The scripture is clear that God sees marriage as a holy and divinely established covenant.

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