The work beneath the visible problem
We start with the problem, not a favorite technique.
Human problems rarely fit neatly inside one theory.
A relationship problem can involve attachment, fear, behavior,
boundaries, identity, and what your nervous system has learned to
expect.
A leadership problem can involve authority, perfectionism,
organizational structure, anxiety, communication, responsibility,
or control.
A life decision can involve values, grief, ambition, relationships,
identity, economics, and meaning.
So we begin by asking better questions.
What triggers the pattern? What keeps it going? What does it protect?
Where was it learned? What happens when you try to respond differently?
Behavior
What you repeatedly do, avoid, pursue, tolerate, control, postpone,
or rescue.
Emotion & Nervous System
What you feel, suppress, fear, anticipate, numb, or experience as
unsafe.
Relationships
The roles, boundaries, attachment patterns, and interpersonal loops
that keep repeating.
Beliefs & Identity
What you have come to believe about yourself, other people, and who
you must be.
Context & Repetition
The family, work, faith, culture, environments, and repeated
experiences that continue reinforcing the pattern.
The objective is not to make the problem more complicated.
It is to understand it accurately enough that the work has a
reasonable chance of changing it.