Spiritual Intimacy:
Praying Together as Husband and Wife

Undeniably, prayer is the most powerful resource for any marriage. Despite the plethora of tools and aids available for marriages today, none surpass the power of prayer. It can influence the hearts of the two key participants in a marriage—the husband and wife—more swiftly and effectively than any purchasable tool or hired counselor.

Benefits of Prayer:

Prayer instills humility in you. If you often harbor a negative outlook toward your marriage, prayer can aid in altering this perspective. Sacred moments spent in prayer before God assist in aligning you and your marital aspirations correctly. Prayer possesses a remarkable capacity to diminish your ego and modify your attitude.

Prayer serves as your guide. God communicates through prayer, imparting His teachings and wisdom. Prayer sheds light on God’s Word for you, steering you as you apply it to your marital challenges and choices. Seeking guidance in handling your marriage? Turn to prayer.

Prayer transforms you. Each moment spent in solitude with God has an instant impact on you. Prayer is one of God’s main instruments for sanctification (the process through which we are made holy). When you pray for your marriage, you tend to be more receptive and open to what God intends to do in you rather than fixating on what you desire Him to do in your spouse.

Prayer aids in altering your perception of your spouse. In 2 Corinthians 5, Paul the Apostle conveyed how his perspective of people was transformed by Christ: “Therefore, from now on, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, yet now we know Him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” (vv. 16-17 NLT). Paul admitted that while he used to assess others based on worldly standards, his devotion to Jesus altered this, providing him with a completely fresh outlook on people.

Prayer empowers you. The roles assigned in Scripture to Christian spouses are challenging. Husbands are urged to love their wives as Jesus loves them, while wives are encouraged to devote themselves to their husbands as they would to Christ (refer to Ephesians 5:22-33). These roles do not come naturally, even in households filled with the Spirit. This underscores the importance of prayer in marriage. Your moments spent in prayer will not only provide you with a vision of how you should operate within your marriage, but it will also arm you with the grace needed to fulfill these roles.

Related Reading: Learn How To Use Marriage Principles To Build A Strong Marriage

Establishing Prayer Habits

If you’re embarking on your journey into the realm of prayer, here are some suggestions to cultivate efficient prayer practices:

• Pray daily: Commit to a daily prayer routine. It doesn’t have to be lengthy or intense, but ensure you spend some time in prayer each day. Consider prayer as the spiritual act of recharging your soul – it’s needed on a regular basis. So, make a few minutes of prayer a part of your everyday routine.

• Set a fixed time: Try to dedicate the same time each day for prayer. If your schedule is unpredictable, this may be challenging, but do your best. Having a set time for prayer enhances the likelihood of you taking out time to connect with God.

• Find a consistent place: Familiarity can promote consistency when it comes to prayer. Changing locations can lead to distractions. Discover a simple, quiet place where you can commune with God without interruptions. Keep away from potential distractions like the TV, phone, computer, refrigerator, or your to-do list.

• Establish a system: I previously mentioned how I incorporate my Bible into my prayer time. I follow a systematic plan for reading the Scripture, and my daily readings guide my prayers. I also keep lists of names in my Bible that I pray for each day. Having a system minimizes the time you spend preparing for prayer, allowing you to start praying immediately without wasting time pondering over what to pray for.

How To Pray

There exists a distinct biblical model for prayer that alleviates any doubts about whether you’re praying correctly, and assists in centering your prayers on God’s will. I refer to this as ‘pinpoint praying.’ With pinpoint praying, you can confidently approach God, comfortably placing significant requests before Him. Pinpoint prayers resonate deeply with God due to their two main attributes: they are rooted in Scripture and they are precise.

Praying biblically signifies that you utilize the Scriptures as your core guide for shaping and articulating your prayers. I realized years ago that my personal words couldn’t match the eloquence, sentiment, and perspective conveyed in the divinely inspired words of Scripture — and they didn’t have to. Instead of stumbling in prayer, attempting to determine what to ask God and how to phrase it, I began allowing the Bible to speak on my behalf.

Here’s my method: I read the Bible almost every day. During my readings, I continually stumble upon verses that perfectly articulate what I desire God to do in various aspects of my life – within me, my marriage, my family, my ministry, my hometown, my country, and so forth.

When I come across a verse that precisely mirrors my sentiments for a particular person or situation, I jot down a set of initials representing that individual or circumstance next to the verse in my Bible. For instance, if the verse reflects my personal aspirations, I inscribe my initials in the margin. If it refers to my wife or children, I write their initials.

Praying with the guidance of the Scriptures allows me to concentrate more on God’s desires and less on my own. The divine and authoritative instructions of God’s Word educate me to think and pray within a biblical context. I’m confident that my prayers hold significant weight before God’s throne since I’m praying using the exact language that God has previously used to express His intentions.

Pinpoint prayers are also characterized by their specificity. Alongside using the Bible as my prayer guide, I began to make very precise and targeted requests to God. Rather than vaguely asking God to be with my husband, I entreated Him to sanctify him, shield him from the allure of materialism, heal him of particular hurts, amplify his ministry influence, and instill truth in his heart and wisdom in his speech.

Rather than simply asking God to bless my marriage, I prayed for Him to assist Joshua and me in loving each other without conditions, exemplifying His love to the world, serving and submitting to each other willingly, and experiencing genuine intimacy. Can you see the difference? I certainly could.

As my prayers to God started becoming more precise, the responses I received from Him became equally specific. The exact pinpoint prayers I was offering resulted in precise answers for my marriage. 

How do you approach prayer for your marriage? Do you send up general prayers such as “Lord, please be with us”, or do you present very specific and biblically grounded requests to God? I can assure you from my own experience the more you concentrate and specify your requests, the more direct answers you will see. 

Below are 31 days of pinpoint prayers that you can pray together:

Day 1  
Verse: “ ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Mark 10:7–9).  
Prayer: God, we recognize your everlasting intention for our union. Please assist us in fully bonding with each other and in becoming one flesh. Unite us, O Lord, and strengthen our bond such that nothing can ever separate us.

Day 2  
Verse: “Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well” (Matt. 6:33).
Prayer: Father, help us as a to prioritize your kingdom and your righteousness first and foremost in our marriage. As we do, please provide for all of our needs as we fulfill your mission on earth.  

Day 3  
Verse: “I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me for their own good and the good of their children after them” (Jer. 32:39).  
Prayer: Mighty God, please give my spouse and me singleness of heart and action. Give us one heart in our marriage. Help us honor and glorify you not only for our good but for the good of future generations. 

Day 4  
Verse: “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name” (Matt. 6:9). 
Prayer: Dear God, you are holy, righteous and just. Let your name be praised and honored by our marriage relationship. Let your name be praised by us at work, at home, in our cars, in grocery stores, and everywhere we go; we pray that you give us the opportunity and strength to praise your name. 

Day 5  
Verse: “Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matt. 6:10).  
Prayer: Holy Father, we pray you will use us to build your kingdom. We pray that we bring out the best in each other; we see each other’s gifts, talents, and abilities to build your kingdom!

Day 6  
Verse: “Give us today our daily bread” (Matt. 6:11). 
Prayer: God, you Jehovah-Jireh our provider. We ask you to meet our needs today, giving us exactly what we need to accomplish the mission and task you have given us. Moreover Lord, we pray that we are content with what you provide for today. We praise you!

Day 7 
Verse: “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matt. 6:12).  
Prayer: Dear Jesus, you died to grant us God’s forgiveness. We pray that we remember that we are all God’s children. We pray that we view each other through the lens you see every one of us, and in doing so, we forgive each other.  

Day 8  
Verse: “And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one” (Matt. 6:13). 
Prayer: Mighty God, we seek your protection. We pray that you give us the strength to steer clear of any temptation; we pray, Lord, that you protect our minds, guard our hearts, close our ears to things that are not of you, and put a veil over our eyes to things that are not Godly. In doing so, we pray that we are protected from the enemy.  

Day 9  
Verse: “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold” (Prov. 22:1).  
Prayer: Precious Father, we are your people. We have access to the greatest name Jesus Christ; we pray that our desire to honor and praise your name consistently rises above our desire to have silver, gold, or great riches.  

Day 10  
Verse: “As God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Col. 3:12).  
Prayer: Father, we are your holy people. Help us in this marriage to always be clothed with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Allow us to always pause before thinking or acting on thoughts or emotions that are not in line with these adjectives. 

Day 11  
Verse: “Now, my God, may your eyes be open and your ears attentive to the prayers offered in this place” (2 Chron. 6:40). 
Prayer: Mighty Lord, please anoint our home with your holy presence. We ask that your spirit dwells in our house Lord. Please hear and answer the prayers we offer here. Grant us wisdom, stature, and favor as your holy people. 

Day 12  
Verse: “He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers” (Ps. 1:3).  
Prayer: Father, plant our marriage deeply in your Word. Cause us to be fruitful, and let all we do prosper for your glory.  

Day 13  
Verse: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Eph. 4:29). 
Prayer: Precious Father, guard and guide the way we speak to each other in our marriage. Help us to never speak hateful or hurtful words to each other. Teach us instead to speak only loving and affirming words. 

Day 14  
Verse: “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral” (Heb. 13:4). 
Prayer: Father, help us to honor your institution of marriage. Keep our marriage pure and free from adultery and all sexual immorality. Lord, we pray against lustful thoughts and ideas, and we pray, Lord, that we have a continual burning desire for each other forever and always. 

Day 15  
Verse: “In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven” (Matt. 5:16). 
Prayer: Lord God, make our marriage a bright light for you. Let the good works of our marriage bring praise to your awesome name. Lord, we pray that you use our marriage to inspire, teach and encourage others. 

Day 16  
Verse: “By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one an- other” (John 13:35). 
Prayer: Mighty Savior, let the profound love in our marriage show all who know us that we are your disciples and that we have a Christ-honoring relationship. 

Day 17  
Verse: “May those who hope in you not be disgraced because of me, O Lord, the Lord Almighty; may those who seek you not be put to shame because of me, O God of Israel” (Ps. 69:6). 
Prayer: Holy God, let our marriage always glorify and honor your name. Make yourself famous in us. We pray that your people will never have reason to be ashamed or embarrassed because of anything in our marriage. 

Day 18 
Verse: “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Phil. 4:8). 
Prayer: Holy God, make our home holy, make our lives holy, make our thoughts holy, make our hearts holy. Help us as a couple to reflect on and talk about things that are pure, right, holy, just, and worthy of your holy name. We rebuke slander, gossip, and sarcasm from entering our minds and coming out of our mouths. 

Day 19  
Verse: “Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things” (Col. 3:1–2). 
Prayer: Dear Jesus, our eyes and hearts are set on you. Please give us a marriage vision for things eternal—things that are part of your kingdom—and not for things of the earth. 

Day 20  
Verse: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength” (Deut. 6:5). 
Prayer: Lord, you are our God. We will love you as a family with all of our heart, soul,  and strength. 

Day 21  
Verse: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:28). 
Prayer: Holy Father, because we are called by your name and purpose, we pray that you will cause all things in our marriage— joy and sadness, blessing and pain, victory and defeat—to work together for good. 

Day 22  
Verse: “Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it’ ” (Isa. 30:21). 
Prayer: Holy Father, please guide our decision-making. As we go through our lives together, help us to be attentive and obedient to your voice. We pray, Lord that you close doors that you do not want us to walk through and open doors that you want us to walk through. We pray for the strength to walk in obedience to you. 

Day 23  
Verse: “Everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock” (Matt. 7:24). 
Prayer: Holy God, make us wise. Help us to build our marriage on the unshakable foundation of your Word. 

Day 24  
Verse: “ ‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’ ” (Jer. 29:11). 
Prayer: Holy Father, thank you for leading and guiding us in marriage. Please fulfill your great plans for us, giving us hope and a future. 

Day 25  
Verse: “Just as you excel in everything—in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us—see that you also excel in this grace of giving” (2 Cor. 8:7). 
Prayer: Father God, let our marriage be excellent in the things that matter. Teach us to excel in our faith, in Christ-honoring speech, in the knowledge of your ways, in our passion for you, and in the blessed privilege of giving to others. 

Day 26  
Verse: “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife” (1 Cor. 7:3–4). 
Prayer: Lord God, your Word teaches that our bodies belong to you first and then to each other. Help us to satisfy each other and honor you in our sexual relationship.  

Day 27  
Verse: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law” (Gal. 5:22–23).
Prayer: Father, may the sweet fruit of your Holy Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience,  kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control—be manifested for your glory in our marriage. 

Day 28 
Verse: “The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil. Some people, eager for money, have wandered from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs” (1 Tim. 6:10).
Prayer: Lord God, we know that you are the source of all that we have. We understand that the pursuit of money and material gain can kill our faith and destroy our marriage. Please protect us from the love of money. Help us to always keep it in proper perspective. 

Day 29  
Verse: “Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain. Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchmen stand guard in vain” (Ps. 127:1). 
Prayer: Lord God, our marriage belongs to you. Please be its chief architect and builder. Protect it from our own sins and vanities. Watch over our marriage and protect our home. 

Day 30  
Verse: “ ‘In your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold” (Eph. 4:26–27). 
Prayer: Dear Jesus, teach us to have appropriate and healthy anger. Help us to not let our anger toward each other simmer or grow into bitterness. Protect us from satanic strongholds that could develop from our unforgiveness. Allow us to remember that we are on the same team, even when it does not feel that way.

Day 31  
Verse: “The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord turn his face toward you and give you peace” (Num. 6:24–26). 
Prayer: Lord God, we humbly seek your blessing, favor, anointing, and protection on our marriage. Smile on us and be gracious to us, according to your Word. Watch over us and give us peace. 

Conclusion

When you pray for your marriage, be bold in your requests to God. Jesus encourages us to seek and find through prayer. We need God’s divine intervention in all aspects of our Christian lives, including our marriages – a reason why He constantly prompts us to ask in prayer. So, don’t hold back; pray boldly! Immerse yourself in the Scriptures, uncover God’s promises, and offer bold, audacious prayers for your marriage today.

Are you in a marriage with a non-believer? Pray for their acceptance and devotion to Christ. Is financial stress straining your marriage? Ask God to guide you both towards financial wisdom, to help you eliminate debt, and become a couple that generously gives.

Do you feel a distance in emotional intimacy? Pray for God to remove the hindrances and grant you unity of heart. Are you dealing with conflicts with an ex-spouse or challenging in-laws? Seek healing and growth in those relationships through prayer. In essence, don’t just pray to make it through; pray to triumph. Pray boldly!

Consider what you desire God to do in your marriage. As you read the Bible, which narratives or verses mirror what you wish to be true for you and your spouse? Begin praying these scriptures.

Invite others to join you in these prayers. When suitable, pray these scriptures with your spouse. Ask God for bold dreams and promises for your marriage, and begin praying for them. Whether it takes ten days or ten years, you will witness God working in ways beyond your imagination (refer to Eph. 3:20).