In this blog, we’ll explore what therapy involves, address common hesitations people have about seeking therapy, discuss why many individuals turn to therapy, and outline signs that suggest it could be beneficial to see a therapist.
What is therapy for?
Therapy, also called psychotherapy or counseling, is an activity by which you meet with a therapist/ mental health professional to work on problems in your life. These problems can be wide-ranging from relationships, behaviors, life decisions, traumatic experiences, mental health conditions, grief as well as bodily symptoms such as panic.
Therapy may also be used by people seeking self-improvement and growth unaccompanied by any specific problem because they just want to be the best version of themselves, whether seeking life’s purpose or understanding themselves better.
What to expect from a therapy session?
During a therapy session, you’ll find yourself in a relational space where you can freely discuss your problems, knowing that you’ll be met with empathy. If you prefer, there’s also the option of online talk therapy, which you can conveniently do from home.
In talk therapy, you’ll have the chance to engage one-on-one with a mental health professional. Here, you can express your thoughts, feelings, and concerns, whether that involves talking, crying, shouting, or simply reflecting.
Therapy sessions provide a unique opportunity to explore your issues from a fresh perspective, guided by someone who values and respects your opinions.
Why are people hesitant about therapy?
Many people harbor reservations about therapy due to a variety of reasons. The prospect of delving into personal issues with a stranger, fear of being judged, concerns about cost, and uncertainty about whether therapy will actually help are among the common hesitations individuals may have. However, understanding these apprehensions can help demystify therapy and encourage individuals to seek the support they need. Let’s dive into common misconceptions people have with therapy:
They believe that therapy about judging them
Therapy isn’t about pointing out your flaws or pushing you to discuss uncomfortable topics. Instead, it’s a safe space to express yourself freely without judgment.
Your therapist provides empathy and support as you work on your goals at your own pace. Feeling nervous or unsure is normal, and your therapist respects your feelings and encourages you to be yourself, even if you’re not feeling your best during sessions.
They believe therapy is simply about someone giving advice
Mental health professionals won’t tell you what to do in life decisions like leaving a relationship or confronting your parents. Instead, they’ll help you find your own answers based on their expertise.
They might offer insights into why certain things are happening and suggest other services like support groups or mental health crisis lines. Ultimately, you’re the one who knows yourself best and decides what’s right for you.
They believe instead of going to therapy they can find a friend who will listen
Therapy revolves around the therapist-client relationship, which is unique compared to other relationships like friendships or family bonds. While friends can offer support, therapy is grounded in theory and the therapist’s expertise to address psychological challenges effectively.
Unlike friendship, therapy isn’t based on reciprocity. You’re free to set the agenda without worrying about the therapist’s personal opinions. Although therapy can be caring and profound, it operates within specific boundaries designed to maximize its benefits for you.
They believe they will be diagnosed in therapy
Some people may have or seek a mental health diagnosis like autism, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and post-traumatic stress disorder. While these diagnoses can guide therapy, they’re just the starting point.
This does not mean therapists are against treating a mental health condition or don’t believe in diagnoses; it just means they are trained to help with these issues by working within the context of your whole being—your story, emotions, and experiences that shape you and how it relates to any problems you share. They are informed but not blinded by any diagnosis you may have.
Mental health professionals view you as a unique individual beyond any label, and they’re trained to address mental health issues while considering your complete well-being. They don’t disregard diagnoses but see them as part of your overall context.
What problem does therapy solve?
Therapy can assist with various psychological challenges, from severe conditions like psychosis to everyday stressors like work-related pressure. Often, issues can overlap, with multiple concerns coexisting. Below are some common categories of problems people seek therapy for, although this list is not exhaustive.
Life Stresses
Most of us face some amount of stress daily; over time, it can accumulate and lead to symptoms like insomnia or fatigue. Simultaneously life’s challenges, like losing a loved one, facing health issues, or experiencing work or financial problems, all take a toll on our mental well being. Even positive events like marriage or moving homes can be stressful.
Anxiety
People with anxiety often feel intense fear and physical symptoms like a fast heartbeat and sweating when faced with specific objects or situations. Their fears can vary from health worries and phobias like fear of spiders to social anxiety or a general sense of unease.
Most people know about obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) which is a type of mental health condition where individuals have persistent thoughts leading to rituals or routines, like excessive hand washing due to fear of germs.
Mood Issues
With mood-related issues, you may have persistent feelings of sadness or fluctuations from extreme happiness to extreme sadness. Your moods may combine with other emotions, such as anger, emptiness, numbness, or tearfulness. The most common mood issues are depression and bipolar disorder.
Trauma
If you’ve experienced a traumatic event such as a car accident, crime, war, or severe medical procedure, and you’re still struggling to cope, therapy might help. Symptoms like flashbacks, heightened nerves, or feeling unlike yourself could indicate unresolved trauma that therapy can address.
Relationship challenges
Relationship issues include difficulty forming relationships, affairs, betrayal, abuse, sexual intimacy issues, communication and trust issues, separation and divorce, family issues, and parenting conflicts. Relationship issues can be worked on in therapy either individually, in couples or within families.
Psychosexual issues
Sexual issues have a psychological basis to them, such as loss of libido, fear of sex, painful sex, premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, and performance anxiety.
Psychotic disorders
Psychotic disorders affect how a person perceives reality. Common symptoms include hallucinations, like hearing voices, and delusions, which are false beliefs despite evidence. Schizophrenia is a well-known example. A treatment plan often involves medication and therapy.
Addictions and Habits
Addictions can stem from various activities like drinking alcohol, using drugs, gambling, or even excessive social media use. Initially, these activities may provide pleasurable feelings, leading to a strong desire to repeat them.
Over time, this cycle can become difficult to break, impacting self-esteem, responsibilities, and relationships. Similarly, harmful habits such as self-harm or nail-biting can also have negative effects on well-being.
Eating Disorders
Eating disorders are characterized by intense emotions and behaviors related to weight and food. Visible signs may include severe underweight, binge-eating, purging, or bingeing alone. Anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, and binge eating disorder are the main types, often accompanied by underlying feelings of stress, anxiety, and shame.
Self-Worth, Identity, and Attachment
In therapy, issues like low self-esteem, identity struggles related to sexuality, spirituality, or cultural background, and attachment concerns often surface alongside other problems. Low self-worth reflects how you view yourself, while identity issues may stem from feeling incomplete in certain areas of your life.
Attachment issues, rooted in childhood experiences with caregivers, can lead to fears of abandonment and rejection, impacting current relationships. These patterns can persist into adulthood, influencing how we interact with others.
Personal Development & Growth
Many people embark on a journey to understand life, meaning, and their place in the world. Exploring purposes, spirituality, aging, and even death anxiety are common. People aim to improve themselves in relationships, community, and personal awareness.
Personality disorders
Sometimes, people can be diagnosed with a Personality Disorder, where people have extreme and inflexible personality traits that are distressing to the person or cause problems in work, school, or social relationships.
This can interfere with a person’s ability to cope in life. These mental health conditions include antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, obsessive-compulsive personality disorder, and paranoid personality disorder.
Psychosomatic Illnesses
It’s commonly understood that our mental and physical health are intertwined, impacting our overall well-being. While therapy can’t directly cure medical conditions, it can address how you cope with your illness and the emotions it evokes, like stress or anxiety.
Therapy is often sought to help manage conditions like cancer, chronic pain, IBS, and fertility issues, which can be linked to stress. By working through these emotional aspects, therapy can offer support in dealing with medical challenges.
How do you know when it’s time to go to therapy?
Most people seek therapy when they face a significant or urgent problem that they can’t ignore. But wouldn’t it be better to catch potential issues earlier, saving yourself time, money, and distress while improving your daily life?
For instance, if you’re experiencing symptoms like hearing voices, obsessive thoughts, panic attacks, or persistent sadness, therapy could be helpful even before things escalate. Here are some signs to consider if early access to therapy might be beneficial:
You don’t feel like yourself
What’s your norm? You may find yourself feeling angrier, and your moods change more than you expect, or it may be that you feel more sadness. Or you may feel more lonely and shut down. You’re feeling more “off” than normal, and what you feel may be uncontrollable or unexpected. This may combine with feeling fatigued and difficulty sleeping or concentrating.
Engaging steadily in more unhealthy behaviors or substances
You are moving more habitually towards using outside substances or behaviors as a way of coping and feeling better. This maybe in the form of alcohol, drugs, food, sex, self-harming. You may feel you’re moving more into a cycle where it feels challenging to relinquish the need.
Self-care doesn’t work
You’re feeling rundown, and tired, and your natural rhythm of life and flow is out of synchronization. So you go for a self-care route to help; after all, you’ve done it before. You take breaks, rest, go on holiday, and get support from family and friends. However, you still feel fatigued, run-down, have difficulty concentrating and sleeping, and something does not feel right.
Stressful events
There are so many generic life events that sometimes come up, from grief, loss of job, financial worries, divorce, or even moving houses. If you feel a weight of baggage associated with life events such as guilt, shame, and fatigue coupled with no space or time to care for yourself, different mental health services could be a good option.
You lose interest
Have you stopped doing the activities you ordinarily enjoy? This may be social life, work, or a hobby you once enjoyed. If so, ask why. Many people find that emotional experiences, low mood, and challenging events keep them from participating in life activities.
Traumatic event
You have been through a traumatic event like a car accident, victim of crime, complex grief, war, rape, serious life-changing medical procedure, or even a near-death experience. Even though the event is stressful, you don’t feel you’ve processed it yet, or you may feel your nerves are fraught, and you just don’t feel yourself anymore.
Impartial Outside support
We can sometimes feel lost and unsure about which path to choose, especially when faced with important decisions. While you may have people around to offer support, it can be challenging to think clearly when receiving conflicting advice or feeling pressured by others’ expectations.
For instance, if you’re considering moving abroad but feel torn because your family wants you to stay, therapy offers a safe environment to untangle your emotions, identify their origins, address conflicts or uncertainties, and ultimately make informed decisions.
Understand yourself better
For many, therapy is a chance to learn more about themselves and grow. You might want to delve into your past, explore your spirituality, or understand the reasons behind your decisions and obstacles to achieving your goals. Gaining insight into our thoughts, actions, and emotions can be incredibly empowering. This newfound understanding can guide you in shaping your present and future path in life.
Faltering relationships
If you’re feeling distant from your partner and noticing trust issues, anger, or resentment creeping in, it’s important not to wait for things to escalate. Relationship counseling can help uncover the root causes behind these feelings of disconnection and address them early on. This applies to romantic partners, family, friends, or other vital relationships. Investing time in counseling can help meet your needs and strengthen your relationships.
How does therapy actually help?
So, in the therapy room, you talk, and a trained professional listens with empathy and acceptance. They might share their thoughts and feelings and use different techniques. You might wonder, “How does this help?” or “Isn’t it too simple?” It can seem like the therapist isn’t doing much, especially if there’s no clear plan.
In his book Why Therapy Works, psychologist Louis Cozolino provides a detailed explanation of how and why therapy works from a neuroscientific perspective. I have summarized these as five fundamental ways the therapy process works:
- by understanding yourself better
- by establishing a better relationship with yourself
- by experiencing and connecting with your thoughts and feelings
- by social bonding
- by moderating fear
Not all these elements are necessary for therapy to be helpful, but they show what happens inside to make a difference. What drives this change is our natural mental capacity to express ourselves creatively and our brain’s ability to form new pathways.
Ready for your first therapy session?
Life change is within reach!