27 Important Questions for Parents Raising Healthy and Happy Children

Are you feeling overwhelmed by your parenting journey?

Navigating our children’s lives can be daunting, but it doesn’t have to be! With the right information, support, and mindset, each of us has the power to transform into an empowered parent.

Taking control of your parenting role starts with asking yourself some key questions- let’s dive in and explore 27 important queries that will help you make decisions from a place of certainty and confidence.

You’ll gain insight into what kind of parent you want to become and engage in some healthy conversations with your spouse. We want parents everywhere to feel empowered as they get through their daily tasks while keeping their sanity intact!

Key Questions Every Parent Should Ask Themselves:

1. What Do My Kids Crave?

Each of our children has unique needs and desires. Do they crave quality time with you? Do they need words of affirmation? Maybe they long for physical touch or acts of service. You can better meet their needs and build stronger relationships by understanding their cravings.

For example, my daughter recently told me that she was only beautiful with makeup…. (she has never even worn makeup)…

Now part of me says she is four and doesn’t understand what she is saying; however, instead of brushing this off. I can start to reassure her and make sure she speaks and tells herself how beautiful she is, inside and out, to help her develop her self-esteem and confidence later on in life. 

We use affirmations, talk about God’s unconditional love for her, and have her stand on chairs yelling how beautiful she is! 

2. Am I Building A Relational Bridge?

Relationships are built on trust, respect, and communication. Do your kids feel heard and valued? Do they trust you enough to share their struggles and victories? Do you give them your undivided attention to genuinely hear them?

My struggle: When I come home, my kids are excited to see me and want my attention. However, more than I’d like to admit, when I come home, I often continue to work, text, etc. The result: my daughter says, “Mommy, I feel like you are ignoring me!”

In these moments, I get to ask myself who I want to be as a mom, and is this what I want my kid to experience, regardless of what I have, going on?

3. What Are Each Of My Kid’s Passionate About?

Every child has a God-given passion that needs to be nurtured. As parents, we must pay attention to what our children are interested in and help them develop those passions.

Whether it’s music, sports, art, science, reading, or something else, we get to encourage our children to pursue their passions. This not only helps them grow as individuals but also helps them see how God has uniquely gifted them.

4. Are You Playing Favorites?

It’s natural for parents to have a closer bond with one child than with the others. Maybe it’s because they share similar interests or personalities or just because one child requires more attention for many reasons. 

But if you consistently favor one child over the others, it’s time to take a step back and examine your behavior. Ask yourself: which child tends to receive most of my attention, and why?

Is it because they are easier to get along with or excel in a particular area? Or is it simply because they remind you of yourself? Or is it because they require more attention?

Whatever the reason, balance your attention and affection among all your children. Make a conscious effort to spend quality time with each of them and appreciate their unique qualities and strengths.

5. What Do Others Think of Your Kids?

As parents, we all want to believe that our children are perfect in every way. But the truth is other people may have different opinions.

So, ask yourself: how do I believe other people see each of my children? And how do I feel about that?

Maybe your oldest child comes across as bossy to their peers, or your youngest child is seen as clingy. Perhaps your middle child is overlooked by their teachers, or your shy child is misunderstood by their classmates.

Whatever the case may be, it’s important to take these opinions into consideration. While you may disagree with everything others say about your children, there may be some valid points that you can learn from.

So, be open-minded and receptive to feedback. But also remember that you know your children best and that your love and support matter most to them.

6. What Life Skills Do You Want Your Children to Develop This Year?

Each year brings new challenges. As your children grow, you want them to develop life skills that will help them become successful adults. But what skills should you prioritize this year? It’s time to reflect on what you want for your children and how you can help them achieve those goals.

This year I want my children to develop resilience, empathy, and independence. Resilience so that they can bounce back from setbacks, empathy so that they can understand and relate to others, and independence to take responsibility for their own lives. What about you?

7. What Values Am I Instilling In My Children?

Values are the foundation of our character. As parents, we are responsible for instilling values guiding our children throughout their lives.

Take some time to reflect on the top five values you feel most compelled to instill in your children. Are they aligned with the values God wants for them?

For example, Galatians 5:22-23 lists a few things that we should have and want our kids to develop, do your lists align with His?

8. Are You Really Praying Diligently for Your Kids?

As parents, we all want the very best for our children. We want them to be happy, successful, and fulfilled. But no matter how much we try to control their environment, we know many things are beyond our control. That’s why prayer is such an essential tool in our parenting arsenal.

So, ask yourself honestly: Are you faithfully praying for your kids? And when you pray, are you doing it with diligence, sincerity, and watchfulness?

Think about it this way: when you pray for your children, you tap into a power source greater than anything in this world. You invite the Almighty God to intervene in your child’s life and work miracles on their behalf. That’s an amazing privilege!

So, don’t take this responsibility lightly. Make it a priority to pray for your kids daily, and do it with all your heart and soul. You’ll be amazed at the results!

9. Do You Have Expectations That Have Become Demands You Clutch Out of Fear Rather Than Hopes You Seek from God by Faith?

As parents, it’s natural to have expectations for our children. But sometimes, those expectations can become demands we cling to out of fear rather than hope. 

Maybe we’re afraid that our children won’t be successful, or that they won’t live up to our expectations. It’s important to reflect on those fears and find faith instead.

I’ve realized that I sometimes demand perfection from my children because I’m afraid that unless they are perfect, they will not succeed in life. But I know this fear is not from God, and my true hope should be in Him. It’s time to let go of those demands and trust God’s plan for my children’s lives. What about you?

10. What Lessons Have Your Learned When Your Kids Disappointed You?

We’ve all experienced disappointment from our children. Maybe they didn’t live up to our expectations, or perhaps they made choices that we disagreed with. But instead of dwelling on the negative, let’s use these moments as opportunities for growth. Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?” 

Maybe you’ll discover what’s truly valuable to you or gain a deeper understanding of how God has uniquely created your children. Let love guide you, and remember that we’re all imperfect humans trying our best.

11. What Are My. Child’s Strengths & Weaknesses?

Every child has unique strengths and weaknesses. By nurturing their strengths and helping them overcome their weaknesses, we can help our children reach their full potential.

For example, my daughter struggles with numbers but excels in reading. I make sure to praise her strengths in reading and provide extra support in math. By doing so, she feels valued and encouraged to keep trying.

12. Are You Overlooking Your Middle Child?

It’s well-known that middle children often get the short end of the stick. They are not the oldest, who gets all the attention and privileges, nor are they the youngest, who gets all the cute baby pictures and the extra cuddles.

So, take a moment to reflect: which child in your family will most likely be overlooked, and why? Is it your middle child?

If so, make a conscious effort to give them the attention and love they deserve. Remind them how special they are and how much you value their unique qualities. Make time for one-on-one activities, and listen to their thoughts and feelings.

Remember, your middle child is as important and precious as your other children. Don’t let them feel left out!

13. The Good, The Bad, and The Spouse- What’s Your Greatest Strength As A Parent? What About Your Spouse?

It’s important to reflect on our strengths and weaknesses as parents. What areas do we excel in? What areas could use some improvement? And let’s not forget about our spouse’s strengths and weaknesses too. 

Maybe they’re better at handling discipline, while you excel at showing affection. Recognizing each other’s strengths and coming together as a team can make all the difference in creating a harmonious household.

14. How Can You Embrace Your Child’s Differences?

Have you ever looked at your child and thought, “How are they even related to me?” Our children are unique individuals with personalities, interests, and quirks. 

Instead of trying to mold them into a mini version of ourselves by injecting our fears into them, and forcing our wants on them, let’s embrace their differences and celebrate their uniqueness. Who knows, they may even teach us a thing or two!

15. Where Do We Need To Forgive To Move Forward?

Reflecting on our own childhood can bring up a lot of emotions. Maybe our parents did some things really well, but there are also areas where we hope to be different. e

It’s important to acknowledge these feelings and work towards forgiveness if needed. If we do not work through these things, chances are we will recreate the past unknowingly instead of focusing on creating a better future for ourselves and our children.

16. What Cycles Do You Need To Break?

Our childhood experiences can shape who we are as parents, for better or for worse. Can you recognize any negative patterns or behaviors we may have picked up along the way and work towards breaking the cycle?

Maybe there are events from our childhood that we want to shield our own children from or perhaps we’ve become too controlling because of our past experiences. Let’s strive for balance and create a healthy environment for our children to grow and thrive.

17. What Do You Love About Your Kids? About Being a Parent?

Take a moment to reflect on everything that makes you happy about being a parent. Maybe it’s how your child’s face lights up when they learn something new or the hugs and snuggles you share. 

Perhaps it’s the joy you feel when you see your child overcome a challenge or the sense of pride you have when you watch them grow and mature.

Whatever it is, hold onto those moments and cherish them. Being a parent is a privilege, and it’s important to remember and reflect on why we love it; it will help on those other days when it’s not your favorite. 

18. How Well Do My Spouse, and I Work as a Team in Parenting?

Parenting is a team effort, and it’s essential to make sure that you and your spouse are on the same page. Do you communicate effectively and share the same goals with your children? Have you both talked about goals for your children? For your family? 

Are you consistent in your discipline and reward systems? Do you make time for each other and prioritize your relationship? By working together, you can create a strong foundation for your family and give your children the love and support they need to thrive.

19. What Can I Do to Equip My Children to Love Well? To Be Wise? For Successful Relationships?

Relationships are at the core of our lives, whether it’s our relationship with God, our spouse, our family, or our friends. As parents, we can help our children develop the skills to build healthy, loving relationships.

This means teaching them how to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and show empathy and kindness to others. It also means modeling healthy relationships and fostering community and belonging in our family.

20. Am I Teaching My Kids Biblical Conflict Resolution?

As parents, we want our kids to be good people who can handle conflicts healthily and productively. But are we teaching them to be true peace-makers or unintentionally encouraging them to be peace-fakers or even peace-breakers? It’s important to reflect on our actions and ensure we’re modeling the behavior we want to see in our kids.

21. Am I Building Trust & Security Through My Honesty & Openness?

Authenticity is key when it comes to building strong relationships with our kids. Are we being honest and open with them, even when it’s hard? By doing so, we can build a bridge of trust and security that will help our kids feel comfortable coming to us with anything.

22. Am I Equipping My Kids For The Future?

While it’s important to protect our kids, we must also ensure we’re preparing them for the real world. Are we striking a good balance between keeping them safe and giving them the tools to handle whatever challenges they may face? It’s a delicate dance that’s crucial for our kids’ growth and development.

23. In What Ways Have Your Children Exceeded Your Expectations?

As parents, we all have expectations for our children. Sometimes they do not meet those expectations, but sometimes, our children unexpectedly surprise us and exceed our expectations. Celebrating those moments and reflecting on how far our children have come is paramount.

My children have exceeded my expectations with their creativity, curiosity, joy, and resilience. They constantly amaze me with their ability to think outside the box, ask insightful questions, and remain playful and funny, all while overcoming obstacles. What about your children?

24. What Memories Have I Made With My Kids Lately?

Think about the year thus far and reflect on the fun and meaningful moments we’ve shared with our kids. What memories have we made together lately? Whether it’s a special trip, a silly game, or just some quality time spent together, these memories our what bond us together.  

25. How Is My Children’s Understanding Of The Bible?

As parents, we are responsible for teaching our children about God’s Word. But how do we know if we are doing it effectively? One way is to observe how our children talk about the Bible. Do they talk about the stories? Can they retell the stories back to you? Do they understand the stories and the messages behind them? Are they able to apply the lessons to their lives?

Reading it together as a family is a great way to help our children understand the Bible. This not only helps them learn but also strengthens our family bond.

26. Who Are The Other Influential People In My Kids’ Lives?

We can’t always be there for our children, so knowing who else is in their lives is important. As parents, we get to be aware of the friends, teachers, coaches, and other people who impact our children.

One way to ensure that these people complement our parenting is to pray for them. Pray they will be positive influences and help our children grow in the right direction.

27. Am I Replenishing Myself & Taking Adequate Rest?

As parents, we often forget to take care of ourselves. We focus so much on our children that we neglect our own needs. But taking care of ourselves is crucial if we want to be good parents.

Our children will pick up on it if we are always exhausted and stressed. Instead, we must model the gospel work of grace, patience, and peace in our homes. This means resting and replenishing ourselves to be the best spouse and parents we can be.

Conclusion

Parenting is a brave and challenging journey that requires us to be dedicated, intentional, and consistent. Asking ourselves the right questions allows us to be more diligent in giving our children the love and guidance they need.

We hope this blog sparks conversations as couples navigate this parenting journey. Remember, as parents, we must stay active and focused to build strong, vibrant relationships with our children.

Now that you have read through 27 questions, you can take the time to answer them genuinely.

So trust the process, use your resources wisely, and pray diligently for directions from above. If you find this blog helpful, we’d love for you to share it with your community!