Most of us understand the steps needed to initiate a relationship. We utter the appropriate words, perform the right actions, maintain our hygiene, dress appropriately, exercise, etc.
However, as time passes, particularly once we tie the knot or have been in a relationship for a significant duration, we tend to stop doing the things that initially sparked the relationship.
As time passes, many couples question what happened to their initial spark. Some claim they’ve drifted apart. Others grumble about constant disagreements and the anger they harbor towards each other.
Chances are they likely ceased making small gestures for each other quite some time ago. Perhaps the straightforwardness of these concepts makes them easy to ignore, or maybe we underestimate how much value they add to the relationship.
Recommended Reading: How To Build A Strong RelationshipWhatever the reason is, the same thing that brings a relationship together keeps a relationship together: the small acts of kindness for each other. We refer to these small gestures as love boosters because:
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Initiating these acts doesn’t require your partner’s involvement.
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These gestures are time-efficient, often taking mere seconds!
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They can easily be performed, often, within the comfort of your home.
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The majority of these actions do not cost you a dime.
It’s astounding how far those small expressions of gratitude can reach. Of course, receiving a birthday gift is pleasant, but do we genuinely require all those material things? Isn’t it the subtle indications of appreciation from our partner that truly make us feel cherished?
How can a couple get back on track?
When a couple comes to us looking to renew a spark in the relationship, I tell couples the same thing: start by asking themselves this simple question:
What can I do to make my partner’s life more pleasurable TODAY?
Pay attention to the term ‘today.’ This is among the most significant and potent questions you should pose to yourself daily. It’s about your presence, your expression of love. It’s about your daily contributions.
Expressing pleasant thoughts, a soft caress, a warm smile, or a heartfelt thank you are some of the little things that carry great importance. Simple gestures like saying, “You make the best coffee,” or “Thank you for taking the dog out every night,” exchanging smiles when you cross paths in the hallway, or just holding hands can mean so much.
You know everything you think about but never say or do!
Today, take a moment to carry out a kind and lovely act for your partner simply because you’ve realized how fortunate you are to have such a special person in your life. Do it because you delight in making your partner feel cherished. Do it because you understand it will make them feel loved. Do it just because.
Recommended Reading: Show Your Spouse They're A PriorityAre you feeling inspired to take action yet?
Expressing your affection and letting your partner know they are precious to you doesn’t have to be complicated. Often, the most heartfelt expressions of love are the simplest and most valued.
Below is a collection of ideas and recommendations to demonstrate your thoughtfulness and care, which require only a minimal portion of your time. These are simple gestures that you can begin implementing immediately.
Recommended Reading: 104 Messages That Tell Him You Love HimYou might be tempted to dismiss some of these as “common sense.” And you wouldn’t be wrong, but it’s important to remember that common sense isn’t always commonly practiced.
Finally, keep in mind that you know your partner better than anyone else. Consider the following list as a springboard; it will set you on the right track. As you progress, you’ll naturally generate plenty of your own ideas and combinations. Then, observe as the magic unfolds. Without any further ado, let’s begin dispatching these love boosters to your beloved right away!
19 Ways To Show Your S.O. You Love Them
1. Send a loving email or text message.
This one is self-explanatory, right? If you suspect or know your partner will have a challenging day, send some words of love and encouragement. It will take a few seconds for you, but it might mean the world to them. It will show you’re thoughtful.
2. Compliment your partner in public.
Go ahead and brag a little. Compliment your partner in public often. If you’re talking in a group and it’s appropriate to the conversation, say something like “Joshua is so patient with our children” or “Midori keeps our house meticulously clean,” and give them a loving look while you’re talking about them.
3. Wake up, prepare (or buy) your partner’s favorite breakfast.
Plan to wake up early, silently prepare your partner’s favorite breakfast and put it on the table. Then, go back to the bedroom and let your gentle touch and the smell of freshly made coffee from the kitchen wake your partner up. If you don’t have one already, here’s an excellent breakfast bed tray!
4. Send a message in a pocket or purse.
Hide a loving note in your spouse’s clothes or bags for tomorrow so they find it while at work.
5. Empty the dishwasher before leaving for work.
Depending on who’s doing this kind of chore more often, you might want to pitch in and do it yourself. It’s not a big deal, and it’ll take just a few minutes. Still, it sends a powerful message of not taking your loved one for granted.
6. Make romantic graffiti.
Use lipstick, soap, or a marker to write a love message on the bathroom mirror. (Just be sure you try it in advance and you know what it takes to clean the message off the mirror!)
7. Snuggle on the couch.
Sit close on the couch, possibly under the blanket, and warm each other’s feet. It’s so simple yet so connecting. After you’ve put the kids to bed, prepare some popcorn and a warm blanket. Then, invite your loved one to watch a TV or movie together.
8. Touch, just because.
Use the next opportunity when your loved one is brushing their teeth (or is doing any other activity where they can’t be looking around much), go up behind your partner, slide your arms around them, and simply hug them; bonus points if you nuzzle your face into the side of their neck and tell them how much you love them. It’s powerful because it’s unexpected.
9. Say “I love you” as many times you can.
You really can’t overdo it.
10. Give a foot massage while relaxing.
A short foot massage can help your spouse relax, particularly after a long day of standing up and walking around. While you’re watching television, say nothing. Just take your loved one’s feet in your lap and start gently.
11. Hold hands while walking together.
Hold hands, especially when you’re with your kids. Not only will you show your spouse your devotion and affection, but your children will unconsciously pick up the same behavior patterns from you and use them later in their adult lives.
12. Ask, “What can I do for you today?”
When you’re having your morning coffee, why not ask, “What can I do for you today?” Sure, your spouse might be surprised at first. They might even have something to ask you but may have been worried you wouldn’t have time. So they never asked. This tiny question carries more thoughtfulness than any gift you can ever bring to your loved one.
13. Buy a little something.
Small gestures say a lot. Buy your spouse a little something on your way home for no particular reason – apart from showing your thoughtfulness to the love of your life.
14. Do something for your partner they hate doing.
We all hate doing certain things, right? So why don’t you use that and do that thing for your loved ones now and then? For example, my husband hates washing the dishes. What’s the thing your partner hates?
15. Rub your partner’s neck while they’re doing something.
While your loved one is doing something, maybe writing an email or cooking dinner, rub your hands lovingly, soothing the muscles around their neck. You don’t have to be a professional masseur or masseuse for your spouse to feel more connected and loved instantly.
16. Ask, “How was your day? “…and listen to the answer.
Ask your spouse about something they told you last time and how that went. That will show them you’re listening. Listen carefully while not doing anything else.
17. Leave a message in (or on) their car.
Write a “Missing you already! note and stick it to the back of the sun visor so your partner can find it themselves. If you happen to live in an area where it gets cold, write a message on the car’s frosty window: “Midori loves Joshua.”
18. Invite your partner for lunch.
It doesn’t have to be in a fancy restaurant; neither of you will likely have time for that. But it’s a thoughtful and loving act and a powerful message that says, “I’m thinking of you (even when you’re busy.)”
19. Greet with a hug, part with a kiss.
Greet your loved one with a tender look and a kiss as soon as you arrive home and just before you depart each day. There is scientific evidence that being around people who express their love through hugs, kisses, and smiles significantly boosts our wellbeing.
Bear in mind that our skin is the largest organ we have. It houses roughly five million touch receptors, with 3,000 within each fingertip. Consequently, a simple hug can trigger a potent reaction in our brains. It alleviates stress and induces feelings of happiness. Therefore, hugging is crucial in fostering the sense of intimacy we all deeply crave.
Most importantly, though, your loved one’s subconscious links your presence with positive feelings as time progresses. Can you think of a better way to kick-start your day? Or a more delightful way to return home? If you haven’t tried this, apply the same principle with your children and observe their reactions.
How To Use This List:
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Select 10 ideas from the list and pledge to do a kind act for your spouse each day for the upcoming 10 days.
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Create a daily reminder for the next 10 days to ensure you don’t forget.
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Keep the list accessible for a quick reference or in case you want to make changes. Your phone is an ideal place, but a small piece of paper in your wallet can serve the purpose too.
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Take note of what your spouse appreciates. This will inspire new ideas. Feel free to mix and match them and extend the list over time. Personalize the list.
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Be consistent. Demonstrate your love through actions, not just words.
Conclusion
Regardless of the number of self-help books you’ve read on enhancing your relationships, there will inevitably be moments when one spouse stumbles, fails to complete a promised task, or forgets to make a call when expected. In these moments, one of you may lose control and instigate a bitter argument.
However, after the numerous positive interactions you’ve fostered with your significant other, they will likely be more understanding, open, and willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. These small daily gestures create an overall positive environment that diminishes the impact of these minor frustrations.
This is because you both regularly reassure each other through your actions that you consider their feelings, genuinely care about their wellbeing, and aim for their happiness, all achieved by performing these small acts of love.
So go all out and show your love!
