Have You Been Searching for Your Soulmate?

Have you ever felt like there was one person out there who could complete you? A soul mate, if you will. Well, you’re not alone. The idea of a perfect match has existed for over two thousand years, starting with the Greek philosopher Plato.

Plato believed humans were tragically split in two, resulting in a never-ending search for their missing half. It sounds like a romantic tragedy. But despite the bizarre philosophical musings of the ancient Greeks, the notion of a soul mate has deeply rooted itself in our culture.

From movies to novels to top-40 songs, the quest for the perfect match has inspired countless works of art. 

Do you remember that iconic scene in Jerry Maguire when Tom Cruise tells Renée Zellweger that she “completes” him? 

It’s a romantic moment, no doubt. Still, it’s also the perfect example of our culture’s pervasive and detrimental mindset: the idea that there is just one person out there who can fulfill all our emotional, intellectual, and physical needs.

This notion of “The One” has seeped into our collective consciousness through movies, TV shows, and novels, but it’s not just harmless entertainment. 

It’s a dangerous myth that can lead us astray in our quest for true love and happiness.

And it’s not just fiction. 

According to a Rutgers University study, 94% of people in their 20s say that the first requirement in a spouse is someone who qualifies as a soul mate. And even more surprising, 87% think they’ll find that person “when destiny is ready.”

It’s interesting to note that our culture, while often skeptical of everything, has embraced a forceful and intelligent destiny that brings two love-torn souls together. It’s a paradox and a testament to the power of the human heart and our emotions.

Are You Sure You’ve Found Your Soul Mate?

Let’s be honest: we’ve all been there. We’ve spent years searching for that one special person who completes us. We’ve gone on countless dates, tried online dating, and attended singles events. And when we think we’ve finally found our soul mate, something always seems to go wrong, and we no longer feel the “it” factor. 

But what if I told you that mistaking a storm of emotions for the identifying mark of your soul mate is one of the biggest dangers in the dating game? That’s right. Too many people jump headfirst into a relationship without seriously considering all the factors that make a successful partnership.

Consider it: character, compatibility, life goals, family desires, and spiritual health are all essential factors that should be carefully considered beforehand. But when we let our emotions run wild, we often overlook these essential considerations.

So what happens when the initial infatuation fades and reality sets in? 

Panic. Doubt. Wondering if there’s someone else out there who we are destined to be with. We start to question our choices, and before we know it, we’re running to the divorce court (or break-up court), eager to find our “one true soul mate” somewhere else.

But here’s the thing: when we get into a relationship for trivial reasons, we also tend to seek divorce (or out of a relationship) for trivial reasons. 

That’s why taking the time to consider all the essential factors before jumping into a relationship is crucial for long-term success.

So, let’s initially pump the brakes on this infatuation train to ensure we’re not mistaking a storm of emotions for the identifying mark of our “soul mate.”

Don’t Overlook These Essential Factors

Character, compatibility, life goals, family desires, and spiritual health are all essential factors that should be carefully considered before the notion that this person is your soul mate. Let’s take a closer look at each one:

• Character: This one is pretty self-explanatory. We want to be with someone with a good character who is honest, trustworthy, and kind. But it’s not just about finding someone who is a good person; it’s also about finding someone whose character is compatible with ours.

• Compatibility: This is where things start to get a bit more complicated. Compatibility is finding someone who is a good match for us in terms of personality, interests, and values. It’s about finding someone who complements us, not completes us.

• Life Goals: Being with someone who shares our life goals is essential. If we want to travel the world and our partner wants to settle down in a small town, there will be a conflict. Ensuring our life goals are compatible before committing to a long-term relationship is critical.

• Family Desires: If we want to have children, being with someone who shares that desire is paramount. It’s also vital to ensure our family values and expectations are compatible.

• Spiritual Health: This one is often overlooked, but it’s integral to be with someone who shares our spiritual beliefs or at least respects them. If spirituality is essential to your life, be sure your partner is on the same page.

When we take the time to consider all these essential factors, we increase our chances of finding a long-term, successful partnership. So, let’s stop mistaking a storm of emotions for the identifying mark of our soul mate and start looking for someone truly compatible with us.

Debunking the Myth of “The One”: Why Making a Wise Choice is Crucial

While the romantic idea of “the one” may sound like a dream come true, it’s important to remember that it’s a dream. Why: 

• First, the idea that there is just one person who can make us happy puts tremendous pressure on our partners. They have to be perfect, flawless, and infallible, or else they risk failing us as “The One.” This unrealistic expectation can lead to disappointment, frustration, and even resentment.

• Second, the myth of “The One” can blind us to other potential partners who might be better suited for us in the long run. We might reject someone kind, loving, and compatible with us because they don’t fit our preconceived notion of what “The One” should look like.

• Third, believing that there is just one soulmate for us can make us complacent and passive in our love life. We might think that if we wait long enough, destiny will bring us our perfect match without any effort on our part. This is a recipe for loneliness and despair.

There is no “one right choice” for marriage but good and bad choices. 

Why is it crucial to adopt a view of “good and bad choices” over your destiny of finding “the one”? 

It’s simple – the former attitude lets you objectively consider the person you marry. There is no objective measurement of “destiny.” 

Powerful emotions can blind us to all sorts of clues; when we adopt the attitude of making a “wise” choice, we can use all that God has given us to arrive at a solid decision based on principles, not feelings.

A relationship moving toward marriage involves a serious commitment, and it’s crucial to approach it with a clear head and an open heart.

• So, how do you make a wise choice in moving forward?

• First, take your time getting to know your partner.

• Second, consider their good and bad qualities honestly.

• Third, seek advice from trusted friends or family members.

• Fourth, pray for wisdom and guidance.

Why the Idea of a Soul Mate Can Be Misguided

Part of the belief in a soul mate is that one person can fulfill all of your emotional needs and provide unconditional love, a tall order that no mortal can deliver.

Think about it. Infatuation/ passion can feel like you’ve found this missing piece of your puzzle, but eventually, that initial spark fades. Disillusionment sets in, and what was once a “fabulous” relationship can quickly become an excruciating prison’s harsh reality, but it’s the truth.

So, what’s the alternative?

The Power of Sacrificial Love

Rather than chasing after the elusive soul mate, why not focus on building a love that’s based on sacrifice? This kind of love may not always evoke the same intense emotions as infatuation, but it’s a love that endures. It’s a love built on a commitment foundation, not just fleeting feelings.

Think about your grandparents. Did they have a perfect marriage? Probably not. But they committed to loving each other through thick and thin. They sacrificed for one another and built a life together. 

Or consider the love of a parent for their child. It’s not always easy or glamorous, but it’s a love that endures. Parents make sacrifices, put their child’s needs above their own, and choose to love.

This love matters because at a certain point in any relationship, love must become more than just a feeling. It must morph into a choice. A choice to put someone else’s needs above your own. A choice to sacrifice for their well-being. A choice that, regardless of your feelings, you choose to remain and persevere. It’s not always easy, but it’s worth it.

So, the next time you hear someone talking about finding their soul mate, remember that true love isn’t about finding someone who completes you. It’s about choosing to love sacrificially, building a life together, and growing in love over time.

So, what’s the alternative to the myth of “The One”? 

It’s a mindset acknowledging that many potential partners can bring us joy, fulfillment, and growth. It’s a mindset that values compatibility, communication, and commitment over a Hollywood-style romance. 

It’s a mindset recognizing that no person can complete us but that we can complete ourselves through our inner work and self-love.

When we let go of the myth of “The One,” we open ourselves up to a world of possibilities and opportunities. We can explore different relationships, learn from our mistakes, and grow as individuals. We can find love in unexpected places and unexpected ways. We can create our own happily ever after on our terms.

So, let’s ditch the myth of “The One” and embrace the reality of many. Let’s celebrate diversity, complexity, and imperfection in our love lives. Let’s be open, curious, and adventurous in our search for love. And let’s remember that we are not incomplete without a partner, but we are whole and worthy of love, just as we are.

The bottom line: The myth of “The One” is a dangerous and limiting belief that can sabotage our love life. So, instead of searching for someone to complete you, focus on finding someone who compliments you. Someone who challenges you and makes you a better person. And know true love is more than just a fleeting feeling – it’s about building a solid foundation that will last a lifetime.

The Point Is, Stop Searching for Your Soul Mate!

Stop tirelessly searching for your soul mate, swiping left and right on dating apps with no luck. Stop looking for someone to complete you.

Instead, focus on yourself, and you will attract the right person into your life by being happy and fulfilled.

Trust me, the right person will come when you least expect it.

You may ask why you should stop searching and start focusing on yourself.

It’s simple. When you’re happy and fulfilled, you’ll attract the right person. 

Think about it – who wants to be with someone constantly searching for someone else to make them happy?

Instead, take a break from the singles scene and focus on yourself. Find out what makes you happy and pursue it. Not only will this make you a better and happier person, but it will also attract the right person into your life.

So, put down the dating apps and pick up a new hobby. Take a cooking class or learn a new language. Spend time with friends and family. Do whatever it takes to become the best version of yourself.

Because when you do, the right person will come along and be lucky enough to share in your happiness and fulfillment.

Remember, you are worth the effort.