Do you often feel like the days are whizzing by, and you’re missing out on special moments with your children? Parenting can be hard and leave us exhausted, with very little energy to prioritize ourselves, let alone be present around our children.
Yet making a conscious effort to enjoy each moment spent as a family is essential. That’s why we’ve gathered 10 tips to help make it easier for busy moms to stay present when parenting so that every day brings more connection, understanding, and joy!
Related Reading: How To Balance Being A Mom, Wife & Working Woman
How do I become fully present with my child?
#1 Start Self-Care: More Than Just a Buzzword
As a mom, your life is consumed by taking care of your family. But have you ever stopped to ask yourself, “Am I taking care of myself?” It’s easy to put ourselves last, but to be a genuinely present mom; we need to prioritize our well-being.
When life gets busy, self-care is often the first thing to go. But here’s the thing: we can’t pour from an empty cup. If we want to show up for our loved ones, we must show up for ourselves first.
Now, I know what you might think: “I don’t have time for self-care!”
And trust me, I get it. Between work, kids, and household duties, it can feel like there are never enough hours in the day. But here’s the good news: self-care doesn’t have to be time-consuming, expensive, or fancy.
Self-care is simply about caring for our physical, emotional, and mental needs. It can be as simple as taking a few deep breaths, going for a walk, or reading a book. It’s about finding what works for you and making it a non-negotiable part of your routine.
So, what does self-care look like for you? Maybe it’s waking up a few minutes early to enjoy a quiet cup of coffee before the chaos of the day starts. Perhaps it’s taking a yoga class, going for a run, or practicing meditation. Maybe it’s treating yourself to a bubble bath or a favorite hobby.
Whatever it is, make it a priority. Not only will it benefit you, but it will also have a positive impact on your family. Caring for ourselves makes us more patient, present, and joyful. We are better equipped to handle the challenges that come our way, and we can show up for our loved ones with a whole heart.
So, mamas, I encourage you to make self-care a non-negotiable part of your life. It’s not selfish or indulgent – it’s essential.
Related Reading: How To Really Practice Self Care
#2 Set Rules And Boundaries
As parents, we all want our kids to be responsible, respectful, and kind. But how do we achieve this while maintaining a happy home where everyone gets along?
The answer lies in developing a set of “house rules” that clearly outline expectations for your children and a plan to enforce logical consequences when those rules aren’t followed. But don’t worry; it’s not as daunting as it sounds!
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First off, keep it simple. The easier the rules are, the easier it is for your kids to meet your expectations. For example, “No hitting” or “Use kind words” is straightforward.
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Next, be consistent. Kids thrive on routine and consistency, so enforce the rules every time, no matter what. This helps them understand that your expectations are non-negotiable.
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And finally, make sure the consequences are logical. For example, if your child doesn’t clean up their toys, they lose TV privileges for the day. It’s essential to tie the consequence directly to the rule they broke so that they understand the cause and effect.
Why is this so important?
Because when your kids know what’s expected of them and the consequences, they feel safe and secure. They know you’re in charge and have their best interests at heart. And when your home is a happy and positive environment, you and your children can enjoy your time together without engaging in unnecessary power struggles.
So, what are you waiting for? Start developing your own house rules today, and watch as your home transforms into a happy haven for all!
#3 Leverage Positive Reinforcement
As a parent, you want your child to grow into a responsible and well-rounded adult. However, getting your little ones to do what you want is not always easy.
That’s where reinforcement comes in. Rewarding your child for good behavior can increase their likelihood of repeating it. Research has shown that positive reinforcement is the most effective technique for encouraging good behavior in children. This involves giving your child praise or rewards when they complete a desired behavior.
But why stop at praise? You can take it one step further and create a sticker chart to make things even more exciting for your child. Imagine the look on their face when they get to add a sticker to their chart for doing something well!
The key is to focus on the good behaviors instead of dwelling on the bad. Doing this will encourage your child to make good choices and maintain positive interactions within your home.
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Did your child clean up their toys without being asked? Give them a high five and a sticker!
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Did your child share their toys with a sibling? Tell them you are proud of their kindness and add a sticker to their chart.
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Did your child finish their homework without complaining? Celebrate their accomplishment with a mini dance party or a special treat.
Positive reinforcement is a powerful tool that can help shape your child’s behavior positively. Using this technique consistently shows a noticeable improvement in your child’s behavior over time.
So, the next time you catch your child doing something good, don’t hesitate to give them a little positive reinforcement. Who knows, it might just become your new favorite parenting technique!
Related Reading: Why Your Parenting Changes Your Child's Future
#4 Time Out On Over-Scheduling
Do you ever feel like you’re constantly running from one activity to another, leaving you exhausted, overwhelmed, and disconnected from your family? You’re not alone.
In today’s fast-paced world, we’re encouraged to fill every moment with work, school, and extracurricular activities, leaving little time for relaxation and quality family time.
As a mom, you want to be present for your children, but finding the time and energy can be challenging. That’s why taking a step back and reevaluating your schedule is essential. While some commitments are non-negotiable, there may be extracurricular activities that can be scaled back or eliminated.
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Instead of signing your child up for multiple after-school activities, consider choosing just one they genuinely enjoy.
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On weekends, try limiting playdates and family commitments to just one day and use the other day to recharge and connect as a family.
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Take a closer look at your own commitments and decide which ones are significant to you and which ones can be let go to create more time for your kids.
By making these small changes, you’ll create more space in your schedule for the things that matter most. You’ll be able to be fully present for your kids, creating memories and strengthening your bond as a family.
Remember: it’s not about doing more; it’s about doing what matters most. So take a deep breath, simplify your schedule, and enjoy the precious moments with your family.
#5 Create One-on-One Time
As a parent, getting caught up in the daily grind of work, chores, and errands is easy. But amidst the chaos, it’s crucial to remember that our children need our undivided attention to thrive. That’s why some of the best parenting advice I’ve ever received is to make time for regular one-on-one bonding with my child.
When my daughter was going through the terrible twos, I thought the idea of scheduling time for us to be together was silly. After all, we were together all day, every day. But I soon realized that just being in the same room as my daughter wasn’t enough to foster a deep, meaningful connection.
Once I started setting aside quality time for us to do something we both enjoyed without any distractions, I saw a dramatic shift in my daughter’s behavior. She no longer acted out to get my attention, and I felt less irritable and impatient.
I urge you to evaluate how much one-on-one time you spend with your children. Quality time doesn’t have to be a grand gesture like baking cookies or crafting for hours. It just needs to be deliberate and distraction-free.
So turn off your computer, put your smartphone away, and give your child the attention they crave and deserve. Play a game, read a book, or simply sit and talk for 20 minutes. Trust me; you’ll be amazed at how much quality time can improve your relationship with your child.
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Block off time each day for one-on-one bonding with your child
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Quality time doesn’t have to be a grand gesture
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Turn off distractions and give your child your undivided attention
Remember, your child won’t be young forever, so make the most of your time with them by creating cherished memories and building a robust and lasting bond.
#6 Actually, Be Present
As a busy mom, I know how easy it is to get caught up in a million things we must do daily. We’re constantly multitasking, checking our phones, and thinking about what’s next on our to-do lists. But when we’re with our kids, giving them our full attention and being completely present is crucial.
I remember being on the phone with a friend while my daughter was trying to show me something she had made at school. I was half-listening, half-distracted, and didn’t even realize how much I’d missed until she walked away, disappointed. It was a wake-up call for me to start being more mindful of my time with her.
Being present means not just physically being there but mentally and emotionally as well. It means putting aside our worries and stress and focusing on the moment. Doing this lets us connect with our kids and build stronger relationships.
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So, how can we be more present as parents?
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First, turn off the distractions.
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Put your phone away, turn off the TV, and focus on the conversation or activity you’re doing with your child.
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Second, practice mindfulness.
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Take a deep breath, let go of your worries, and focus on the present moment.
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Finally, be intentional with your time.
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Set aside specific times to be with your child, whether playing a game, going for a walk, or just talking.
Remember, being present doesn’t mean you have to give up your entire day for your child. It’s about giving 100% of yourself during those one-on-one moments and making them count. Doing so will create memories that will last a lifetime and build a stronger bond with your child.
So, next time you’re with your child, put down your phone, take a deep breath, and be completely present!
#7 Try Listening
As a parent, it’s easy to tune out when your kids talk about something that doesn’t interest you. But don’t be quick to dismiss their words! Taking an interest in what brings them joy can profoundly impact their emotional well-being and your relationship with them.
Next time your child starts chatting away, try these tips:
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Get down to their level to maintain eye contact and show them you’re fully present.
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Ask open-ended questions to encourage them to share more.
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Repeat what they say to show you’re genuinely listening and understanding their perspective.
But what if you’re in the middle of something important? Instead of pretending to listen, be honest with them. Explain that you’re distracted and can’t give them the attention they deserve now. But don’t leave it at that! Agree on a specific time when you can give them your full attention, so they feel heard and understood.
Why It Matters: When you show interest in what your child says, you build a foundation of trust and understanding. You’re also letting them know they can come to you with anything, even the tough stuff. So next time your child wants to share something with you, take a deep breath, listen intently, and watch the magic happen.
#8 Involve Your Children
Involve your children in your never-ending list of responsibilities throughout your day for a fun bonding experience for everyone.
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Cook up some fun: Instead of spending hours in the kitchen alone, make meal prep a family affair. Throw on some tunes and ask the kids to help you whip up their favorite dish. Not only will they learn valuable cooking skills, but you’ll also create lasting memories and have a delicious meal to enjoy together.
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Movie night magic: Fold laundry and watch a movie simultaneously. Sign me up. Order some pizza, pop some popcorn, and settle in for a cozy evening with your little ones. Not only will you get some much-needed downtime, but you’ll enjoy some quality family time too.
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Grocery store shenanigans: While grocery shopping might not sound fun, it can be an excellent opportunity to connect with your kids. Chat in the car on the way there, and while you’re roaming the aisles, ask their opinions on what to buy, or challenge them to find the best deals. Who knows, you might even learn a thing or two from your little shopping companions.
It might feel easier to just do everything on your own, but involving your kids in your daily routine teaches them essential life skills and gives you a chance to connect with them, even when life gets crazy. So, don’t be afraid to get creative and have fun. After all, these moments are what memories are made of.
#9 Learn Their Love Language
As a parent, you want to ensure your child feels loved and valued. But what if the way you’re showing them love, isn’t clicking with them? That’s where understanding your child’s “love language” comes in.
If you haven’t read The 5 Love Languages of Children by Gary Chapman, I highly recommend it. This book is a game-changer regarding understanding your child’s unique needs and how to show them love, in a way that resonates with them.
For example, my daughter’s love language is physical touch. She loves hugs, snuggles, and high-fives, so guess what I give her? Lots of touches!
Learning your child’s love language can make all the difference in how they perceive your love and affection. It’s not just about showing love but showing it in a way your child understands and appreciates it.
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Is your child’s love language quality time? Schedule one-on-one activities that they enjoy.
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Is it acts of service? Find ways to help them out and show them you care.
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Is it receiving gifts? Surprise them with small tokens of appreciation.
Knowing your child’s love language is crucial to being a present and loving parent. Trust me; it’s a game-changer
So, take the time to discover your child’s love language. It may take some trial and error, but the effort is worth it to see the smile on your child’s face when they feel truly loved and understood.
#10 Let Go
Have you ever been caught in a cycle of guilt and self-doubt as a mom? Do you lie in bed at night, replaying all the things you wish you had done differently throughout the day? If so, you’re not alone.
But here’s the truth: living in the past won’t change it. It’s time to let go of those “should haves” and “could haves” and focus on being present in the here and now.
So, how can you do this?
Embrace Ralph Waldo Emerson’s famous quote:
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as possible. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
Being a present mom isn’t always easy, but by letting go of the past and focusing on the present, you can create a more fulfilling and rewarding relationship with your children.
Conclusion
All parents want to be present for their children, and there’s no one-size-fits-all formula for how to do it. However, using the ten practices mentioned in this blog, you now possess invaluable ways of understanding your children better and being more intentional as a parent. Personalize and make these practices work for you and your family – every situation is different.
Remember: how much our children need us today may seem small, but it will one day become greater than words can express. With a mindful approach, you can cultivate meaningful relationships with your little ones and cheer them on to become confident adults. So what are you waiting for? Step out of a defensive mindset and take steps towards being present with your precious little ones wholeheartedly. Of course, if you find this blog helpful, we would love for you to share it with your world!
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