What are the destructive communication habits

Communication is the foundation of human interaction. It is the tool that enables us to convey our thoughts and ideas to others. However, certain hidden agendas can hinder communication and prevent us from connecting with the people around us.

Hidden agendas are subconscious motivations influencing our thoughts, words, and actions. They are often driven by fear and insecurity, and they can manifest in various ways, such as:

1. Having A Superiority Complex

Attitude/ Thought Process: When describing myself, I can confidently say I am great and superior to most. There are several reasons why I believe this to be true, and I am not afraid to share them with you. Here are some of the qualities that make me stand out:

• Honesty: I believe honesty is the best policy, and I always speak the truth.

• Successful: I have achieved many of my life goals and continue striving for more.

• Charming: I have a magnetic personality that draws people towards me.

• Smart: I have a sharp mind and possess a great deal of knowledge.

• Hardworking: I put a lot of effort and dedication into everything I do.

• Suffering: I have been through my fair share of struggles and have become stronger because of them.

• Rich: I am financially stable and can afford to indulge in the finer things in life.

• Powerful: I can influence people.

• Adventurous: I love to explore new places and try new things.

• Sophisticated: I have refined tastes and enjoy the finer things in life.

• Famous: I am well-known in my field and have made a name for myself.

• Wonderful: I am someone people simply love; what can I say. 

As you can see, I possess a wide range of qualities that make me stand out from the crowd. But what sets me apart the most is my ability to enjoy the best things in life. I go to the best restaurants, drive the best cars, and wear the best clothes. I have a higher status than most and am not afraid to admit it.

2. Constantly Belittling Others

Attitude/ Thought Process: I struggle with low self-esteem; therefore, I elevate my self-worth by putting others down. Consequently, I will belittle the dreams and accomplishments of others. By minimizing the successes of others to make myself feel superior and accomplished.

When I compare our life’s measurements, I find comfort in lowering your self-worth and propping up my own. This is how I justify my belief that my life is superior to yours, making me ultimately better than you.

But what measurements am I using to come to this conclusion?

• Work Ethic: I believe that I work harder than most people. I put in long hours, and I’m always striving to improve.

• Honesty: I pride myself on being honest, even when it’s difficult. I think that many people lack this quality.

• Intellect: I consider myself to be intelligent and well-educated. I enjoy learning new things and challenging myself mentally.

• Morality: I have strong moral values and live according to them. I believe that many people are morally bankrupt.

• Travel: I travel extensively, giving me a broader worldview than many people.

• Authenticity: I try to be true to myself and not pretend to be someone I’m not. I think that many people are afraid to show their true selves.

• Maturity: I believe that I am more mature than many people my age. I try to handle situations with grace and wisdom.

Based on these measurements, I believe my life is better than yours. And therefore, I believe that I am better than you.

3. Being Self Deprecating

Attitude/ Thought Process: Oh, how pitiful I am compared to someone like you! Your accomplishments are truly remarkable, and I can’t help but feel inferior when I think about them. I look up to you in every way, as you are simply great. You are truly a remarkable person.

My Insecurities
Here are things that we may say:

• I wish I had your courage
• I never went to college like you did and often feel like I missed many opportunities
• I could never afford the car and house you have
• I could never have the kids or the spouse you have

Looking at all your accomplishments, I feel like I haven’t done anything. My life seems so ordinary in comparison, and I can’t help but feel like I’m terrible.

You always know exactly what you’re doing and where you’re going in life. You easily tackle every challenge, and I admire your ability to stay calm and collected in even the most stressful situations.

On the other hand, I am just a nervous wreck. I worry about everything and second-guess myself constantly. I wish I had even a fraction of your confidence and self-assurance.

Oh, how pitiful I am compared to someone like you! Your accomplishments and qualities are truly remarkable, making you better than me at, well, everything.

The Qualities That Make You Better Than Me:

• Better Looking: Your physical appearance is strikingly attractive, and it’s hard not to envy your good looks.

• Better at Leading: You have a natural ability to take charge and inspire others to follow. Your leadership skills are exceptional.

• Better at Speaking: Your eloquence and ability to articulate your thoughts and ideas are simply impressive. You have a way with words that commands attention.

• In Shape: Your dedication to your physical fitness is admirable. You have a toned and fit body that reflects your commitment to a healthy lifestyle.

• Well-traveled: Your experiences and adventures from traveling the world have broadened your knowledge and perspective. You have a wealth of cultural understanding that is enviable.

• Better Dresser: Your fashion sense is impeccable, and you always look effortlessly put together. Your style is both trendy and timeless.

After comparing myself, I feel inadequate. I often focus on what I lack. Therefore I am not capable of celebrating my own accomplishments.

4. A Helpless Demeanor

Attitude/ Thought Process: This world is filled with hardships and relentless suffering. For whatever reason, life, that mischievous trickster, seems to delight in my misfortune, constantly reminding me that, for some inexplicable reason, I’m not worthy of a break.

 A perpetual raincloud hovers above my head, casting a shadow upon my very existence. I often find myself wondering, “Is there any point in even trying?” My life is like a series of unfortunate events, with each day only serving to confirm the futility of my efforts. It’s like the universe is playing a cruel joke on me, laughing at my pitiful attempts to make the best of my lot.

Moments like these make me question the very point of trying in life. What use is it to put forth effort, when the outcome seems so predictably grim? I may embody sadness and despair, but I invite you to join me in this journey of self-pity and sadness. Let us share our stories of woe and misery and see if we can one-up each other.

5. Never Taking Responsibility

Attitude/ Thought Process: It’s not my fault. It’s not my responsibility. I just can’t help how I am – a victim of circumstances abandoned by fate. Allow me to tell you my heart-wrenching story of woe and despair.

THERE IS ALWAYS A SOB STORY

My father, the man who should have been my rock, left me. A ghost, a mere memory of someone I was destined never to know. My mother, left alone to carry the burden of a broken family, turned bitter and resentful. Her anger was unleashed upon me, her innocent child, in the form of cruel beatings. Oh, the pain I endured!

As if that wasn’t enough to break my fragile spirit, my siblings, my own flesh and blood, became my responsibility. I, who never asked to be born into this calamitous world, had to raise them practically by myself. My youth was stolen from me as I played the role of parent and sibling.

God, if there is one, seemed to have forsaken me. The unforgiving and unfathomable world also turned its back on me.

So, remember my sad and pitiful tale, for I am blameless, a mere puppet in this tragic play called life.

6. The Fragile Facade

Attitude/ Thought Process: Here I am, a fragile being, shattered into a million pieces like the remnants of a porcelain doll dropped from great heights. Time and time again, the heartaches have left me feeling broken and despondent.

Each day, I lay in the cold embrace of my solitude, yearning for respite from this ceaseless sorrow. The world around me continues to move on, unaware of my silent screams for help. My pleas are like whispers in the wind, barely audible amongst the cacophony of life.

There was once a time when my heart overflowed with hope and love, but now, it is a barren wasteland devoid of any emotion or warmth. Day by day, I watch as my spirit withers away, crumbling like the leaves of a dying tree in autumn.

Can anyone hear me? Or am I destined to endure this perpetual torment in isolation? Alas, it seems there is nothing left for me to do but wait for the sweet release of oblivion. Perhaps then, I’ll finally find peace in the arms of eternal slumber.

Life’s heartaches have left me unwilling/ unable to face the world; of enduring its hardships and challenges, it’s too much for me to bear pain or heartache anymore.

7. A Tough Shell

Attitude/ Thought Process: There’s no denying it – I am tough. I don’t let anyone push me around or take advantage of me. I always stand up for myself and make sure that people know not to mess with me. I don’t take anyone’s crap and won’t let anyone walk all over me. I am a force to be reckoned with, and people know not to cross me.

Some people might call me mean, but I just call it being assertive. I know what I want, and I won’t let anyone hinder my goals. My strength comes from my determination to succeed, and I won’t let anyone stand in my way.

I am on top of every mountain and the king of the hill. I am the boss of my own world, and I won’t let anyone else take control. My confidence and strength make me a natural leader, and people look up to me for guidance and inspiration.

Overall, I am tough, strong, and invincible. I won’t let anyone bring me down or make me feel inferior. I am proud of who I am, and I won’t apologize for being confident and assertive.

8. Being A Know-it-All

Attitude/ Thought Process: I consider myself a humble genius. When I walk into rooms, I can feel the ignorance in the air, and I know it is up to me to enlighten those around me. I don’t blame them for their lack of knowledge, but I do feel a sense of moral responsibility to share my vast wisdom with the world.

As I begin to share my expertise on every topic imaginable, I can see the awe in their eyes. They may try to argue, but deep down, they know I’m right and are simply too proud to admit it. I find it amusing, really. But who can blame them for wanting to appear intelligent in my presence?

The Art of Lecturing
Now, some may call what I do “lecturing” or “instructing,” but I prefer to think of it as a gift. A gift of knowledge generously bestowed upon the less fortunate. My methods may be unorthodox, but the results are undeniable. The old saying goes, “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” I, however, have perfected the art of making the horse drink, metaphorically speaking. I not only provide the information but also make it absolutely irresistible to consume.

The Burden of Brilliance
Of course, being a know-it-all comes with its fair share of challenges. It can be lonely at the top, and sometimes I long for the days when I could engage in a stimulating debate with a worthy adversary. Alas, those days are long gone, as I have ascended to a level of intellectual superiority that few can even fathom.

To quote the great philosopher, Socrates, “I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know everything.”

9. Overly Cocky

Attitude/ Thought Process: When I saunter into a room, oozing confidence and allure. Heads turn, conversations halt, and electric energy fills the air. I am the embodiment of sex appeal, and everyone can sense it. The truth is, I know I’m irresistible – and I love it.

Maybe it’s the way I effortlessly glide across the floor, or the sparkle in my eyes that hints at a cheeky secret. Whatever it is, I’ve got people hooked. I’m a magnet for admiration and desire, drawing people in with my intoxicating charm.

Flirting, My Secret Weapon

My flirting game is unmatched, and I can captivate anyone with just a few well-chosen words and a sultry glance. I’ve got a knack for making people feel special like they’re the only person in the room. It’s a powerful skill that makes me irresistible to everyone I encounter.

But it’s not just about the words I say – it’s how I say them. My voice is a velvet whisper, a sultry caress that leaves people hanging on my every word. It’s as if every syllable is a secret shared just between us, adding fuel to the fire of their desire.

Envy and Admiration

Of course, not everyone is lucky enough to be on the receiving end of my flirtatious advances. Some simply stand by, green with envy and longing for a taste of the attention I command. They watch as I effortlessly ensnare the hearts and minds of those around me, wishing they could be in my shoes – or, better yet, be the object of my desire.

But it’s not just envy that fills their eyes – it’s admiration. They see my magnetic allure and can’t help but be drawn in themselves. They study my every move, hoping to unlock the secret to my irresistible charm.

The Art of Seduction

But the truth is, my power of seduction can’t be easily replicated or taught. It’s an innate gift, a natural talent that I’ve honed to perfection. When I decide I want someone, there’s no doubt that they’ll soon be putty in my hands.

It’s a thrilling feeling, knowing that I have the power to make anyone’s heart race and knees weak with just a smile or a whispered word. And as I continue to weave my spell, leaving a trail of enchanted admirers in my wake, I can’t help but revel in the knowledge that I am truly irresistible.

Time For Self Discovery

As you go through this list, you’ll likely identify with one or more of these sneaky motives lurking in your subconscious. Brace yourself for the devastating impact they can have on your existence.

Why Hidden Agendas are Dangerous in Relationships

Hidden agendas are thoughts and attitudes we keep to ourselves, ultimately influencing our behavior and interactions. These agendas can be harmless, but they can also be quite dangerous, especially regarding our relationships with others.

The Dangers of Hidden Agendas

When we allow hidden agendas to guide our behavior, we become defensive and reflexive, always on the lookout for potential threats and never truly open to others. This makes us predictable and automated slaves to our fears and can destroy our relationships.

When we buy into any of these agendas, we restrict communication and eliminate potential friendships. Worse yet, we can ruin a potential love interest. This is because hidden agendas create false character stances that do not reflect our true selves.

How Hidden Agendas Affect Our Family

Expressing our hidden agendas is one of the more detrimental things we can do when communicating with our spouses and kids. When we do this, we can guarantee that we will push our family away.

Our family members deserve to be treated with honesty and respect. When we allow hidden agendas to guide our behavior, we are not being honest with them or ourselves. This can lead to misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and damaged relationships.

How Do Hidden Agendas Destroy Communication?

Hidden agendas can impair communication in several ways. They can:

• Lead to misunderstandings and misinterpretations

• Create tension and conflict

• Prevent trust and openness

• Diminish empathy and compassion

• Reduce authenticity and sincerity

• Limit creativity and collaboration

• Stifle growth and learning

• Undermine relationships and connections

• Destroy self-esteem and confidence

Therefore, it is crucial to identify and overcome hidden agendas to enhance communication and build healthy relationships.

How to Overcome Hidden Agendas?

Overcoming hidden agendas requires self-awareness, self-reflection, and self-acceptance. It involves:

• Recognizing your fears and insecurities

• Challenging your assumptions and beliefs

• Examining your motives and intentions

• Practicing active listening and empathy

• Expressing yourself honestly and respectfully

• Being open-minded and willing to learn

• Accepting feedback and criticism

• Forgiving yourself and others

• Letting go of control and expectations

You can communicate more effectively by overcoming hidden agendas, build stronger relationships, and live a more fulfilling life.

Conclusion

Communication can be a tricky subject to navigate, especially when there are hidden agendas that you are unaware of. But, if you stay mindful of any subconscious tendencies that hinder you from being effective in communication, you can start taking the right steps to ensure intentional and meaningful conversations that bring more closeness into your family.

By recognizing your own insecurities or defense mechanisms and addressing them head-on, as well as having a better understanding of how these hidden agendas may affect others, you can make strides towards healthy communication with the people around you.

There are always things to learn about ourselves and our loved ones—by making informed choices and being conscious of how we communicate, we can create long-lasting relationships with many deeper conversations in between. Remember: share the love, subscribe often, comment thoughtfully – and we’ll see you tomorrow for more!