How to Build a Strong and Christ-Centered Marriage

December 4, 2023

Table of Contents

Perfect Christ-Centered Marriage

Hey there! 

Before I married, I knew clearly what a Christ-centered relationship entailed. Growing up, I saw my parents’ example and knew I wanted something different. 

My mom was committed to the church, tithing, serving, and raising us to love the Lord. My dad, on the other hand, only occasionally attended church.

So, naturally, I desired a marriage where God would be our center. My dream was to be a spiritual power couple who prays together daily, reads the Bible every morning, and leads in church together. Being united by our faith — the perfect recipe for the Lord to be at the center, right?

Enter Joshua, my other half, in this spiritual power couple quest. 

Given what I described, I expected him to be the spiritual giant, guiding us in prayer, Scripture, worship, and service. 

In my mind, our relationship had to look like an Instagram-worthy Christian power couple. So, I started pressuring Joshua to become the kind of Christian I thought he should be. I wanted his hands in the air during worship, him to lead us in a couple’s devotionalpray and read Scripture with me daily, serve alongside me, and be deeply involved in ministry together.

But, as we ticked off this spiritual checklist, we lost sight of the point of doing these things together. Instead of focusing on our relationship with God, it became about appearances and meeting arbitrary standards. 

thought I had all the ingredients I needed: faith in God, belief in Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection, and even a pinch of self-righteousness. And let me tell you, that’s not a recipe for a healthy relationship – with God or each other.

Not to mention I had overlooked the fact that it’s not about us but God.

The Recipe for a Perfect God-Centered Relationship: A Personal Journey

I now realize that I really wanted this Instagram-worthy Christian power couple status because of my relationship missteps with God. 

You see, while I believed in the divine, I also had my own share of doubts, guilt, and self-righteousness. 

My relationship was like a secret weapon to combat my lack of faith, and my knight in shining armor, Joshua, would be the key to bringing me closer to the Lord.

Leaning on Joshua: A Flawed Strategy

I mentally relied on Joshua as my spiritual compass, guiding me toward salvation and a deeper connection with God. But, as it turns out, Joshua was just a mortal like me, with his own doubts and struggles. 

Therefore he couldn’t be the solution to my spiritual journey, nor could he bring me closer to God. That was a job meant for me alone.

Discovering Purpose and Freedom in Jesus

So, I set out on a journey to truly know the Lord for myself and learn what it meant to find purpose and freedom in Jesus. I began to study the Bible more diligently, engage in prayer, and seek guidance from spiritual mentors. And in the process, I discovered some surprising truths about God-centered relationships.

First, I realized that a God-centered relationship isn’t about having all the right ingredients, like faith, love, and commitment. Instead, it’s about surrendering our own desires and agendas to God and allowing Him to be the author of our love story.

Second, I learned that a God-centered relationship doesn’t require a knight in shining armor or a perfect partner. In fact, it often means embracing our imperfections and our partners as we both grow closer to God.

A New Recipe for Love

As I embarked on this journey to understand what it means to have a God-centered relationship, I discovered a new recipe for love that doesn’t rely on a perfect partner or a set of ingredients but rather on God’s grace and guidance.

Now, Joshua and I are growing closer to God together, each on our own unique spiritual journey. And as we surrender our relationship to God, we find His love is the perfect recipe for a God-centered relationship.

Discover How To Place God at the Center of Your Life and Relationship

If you are reading this, perhaps you are waiting for this part where I give you—a step-by-step playbook to put God at the heart of your relationship. 

Unfortunately, this will not happen as a Christ-centered relationship will not look the same for everyone.

But there is one thing that you can do that will help you get there. 

A Christ-centered relationship starts with a heart-to-heart with your partner to explore what it means to have God as your relationship’s main priority.

Allow me to share a little tale about my own experience. 

In my quest to be a Christian power couple, I whipped up a list of must-dos we needed to follow religiously (pun intended). However, I overlooked – discussing what that would look like for us individually and as a couple.

Is your relationship missing that secret ingredient?

Don’t get me wrong – reading and praying together are great ways to bond spiritually and enrich your relationship. But your relationship isn’t doomed if you don’t pray together every.single.day. It doesn’t mean that the Lord isn’t at the heart of your relationship or marriage. 

So, sit down and talk with your spouse and decide what you want/ need to have to express that Christ is at the center of your family. 

It’s like wanting to create the perfect pizza – you need to start with a solid foundation (in this case, God) and then add your own unique combination of toppings (your spiritual practices and shared experiences). And voila! You’ve got yourself a God-centered relationship that’s fulfilling and uniquely yours. 

Recommended Reading: 9 Ways to Show Your Spouse That They Are #1 In Your Life 

Conclusion

So, don’t make the same mistake as yours truly; learn from my mistakes, friends. Don’t get so caught up in chasing the perfect Christian relationship that you forget what it’s really all about growing closer to God and each other. 

Embrace your unique love story, put on your thinking caps, and dive into a world of possibilities where God is the glue that holds your relationship together. 

And remember, there’s no one-size-fits-all formula for a God-centered relationship. 

Focus on building a strong personal relationship with God first, and let that be the foundation for your relationship with your significant other. 

Ultimately, putting God at the center is not about following a set of rules – it’s about finding what works best for you and your partner in your journey toward spiritual growth.

Otherwise, you might find yourself with a picture-perfect Christian couple facade and nothing to show for it but a lot of spiritual emptiness.

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