From “Me” to “We”: 8 Unexpected Changes When You Get Married | Simply Midori

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From “Me” to “We”

Are you getting ready to transition from living a life of “me” to “we”? Getting married is an exciting but also nerve-wracking experience. This critical step impacts everything from your social engagements and day-to-day routines to your finances, priority list, etcetera, whether you’re newly engaged or already married! When tackling the changes that come with marriage head on there are plenty of things you should know and be aware of before taking the plunge. To make this tricky transition more manageable, here are 8 Things That Change When You Get Married – Make sure that when it’s time to tie the knot, you have all the information on hand so that everyone can have their happily ever after!

1. The “honeymoon phase” doesn’t last forever. 

You’ll soon realize that the butterflies in your stomach and the constant fireworks disappear. But don’t worry; it doesn’t mean your love for each other is gone. It just means that you’re entering a new phase of your relationship.

Before panicking, let me reassure you that this is normal! All relationships go through different phases, and this is just one of them. It doesn’t mean your love for each other is gone, or your relationship is in trouble. It simply means that you’re moving into a new phase. Here are a few different phases:

  • The Real Deal Phase: This is when you start to get to know each other deeper. You’ll learn about each other’s quirks, habits, and little idiosyncrasies. You might begin to see each other’s flaws and imperfections, but that’s okay. It’s all part of getting to know the real person behind the initial attraction.

  • The Comfortable Phase: This is when you start to feel comfortable with each other. You might begin to let your guard down and be more relaxed around each other. You might even begin to share your deepest fears and secrets. It’s a beautiful phase because it’s all about trust and vulnerability.

  • The Growth Phase: This is when you start to grow together as a couple. You might set goals together, start a family, or buy a house. This phase is about building a life together and facing challenges as a team. It’s a phase that requires a lot of work but is also incredibly rewarding.

So, yes, the “honeymoon phase” might be over, but that doesn’t mean the end of your love story. It’s just the beginning of a beautiful journey together. Embrace each phase as it comes, and enjoy the ride. Who knows, maybe there will be more butterflies and fireworks down the road!

2. You’ll learn to compromise.

 When you’re single, you’re used to making decisions independently. But when you’re married, you must learn to compromise and make decisions together. It’s not always easy, but it’s crucial to a healthy marriage.

Being single has its perks, like making decisions independently without worrying about anyone else’s input. But when you tie the knot, you’ll have to learn how to compromise and make decisions as a team. And let me tell you; it’s not always easy.

Picture this: you and your spouse decide what to have for dinner. You’re in the mood for sushi, but your partner wants steak. You could be stubborn and insist on your choice, but that won’t get you anywhere. Instead, you’ll need to find a middle ground that satisfies both of you. Maybe you’ll have sushi for appetizers and steak for the main course. Who knows? 

The point is you’ll need to learn to give and take. Compromise is a crucial part of any healthy marriage. It shows that you respect each other’s opinions and are willing to work together to find a solution that benefits both of you. Plus, it can be pretty fun once you get the hang of it. You’ll find yourselves creating creative ways to make decisions that make you both happy.

Remember, no one said marriage would be a walk in the park. 

3. You might fight over silly things. 

Like, for instance, the proper way to hang the toilet paper or load the dishwasher? Trust me; you’re not alone. These trivial arguments can quickly become full-blown fights, leaving you frustrated and unheard of.

But here’s the thing, winning the argument shouldn’t be your end goal. Instead, focus on finding a solution that works for both of you. After all, you’re in this together, and compromising is key to a healthy relationship.

Let me share a personal anecdote with you. My husband and I used to bicker constantly over the toilet seat. I like it down, while he prefers it up. It got to a point where we were both angry and resentful toward each other (OVER A TOILET SEAT)!

That is, until we devised a solution that worked for both of us. We invested in a toilet seat that auto-closed. It was a game-changer, and we no longer argued over the toilet seat.

So, next time you find yourself in a heated argument over something trivial, take a step back and remember that it’s not about winning. It’s about finding a compromise that makes both of you happy. By doing so, you’ll avoid unnecessary fights and strengthen your relationship by showing that you value and respect each other’s needs.

4. You’ll discover new quirks about each other. 

When you first move in with someone, you think you know everything about them. You’ve discussed your likes and dislikes, favorite TV shows, and your family’s embarrassing stories. But as time passes, you realize there’s a lot more to your partner than meets the eye.

For example, when my husband and I moved in together, I discovered he likes to hang his jeans a particular way, and they must face a specific direction in the closet. At first, I thought it was a joke. But then I saw him change all the pants, that I hung up for him because this is how he does it. 

When you move in with your spouse, you will see small details that may seem insignificant, but they make up the person you’re living with. It’s these moments of discovery that make living with someone so special. You see their different sides, from the silly to the serious. And even though it can be frustrating at times, it’s all part of the experience.

So be prepared to learn a lot about them when you move in together. And who knows, maybe you’ll discover something new about yourself in the process.

5. Your sex life might change. 

Remember when you and your partner spontaneously jumped each other’s bones every chance you got? Welcome to the real world of marriage, where work schedules, a new baby, and life, in general, can damper your sex life. But don’t hit the panic button just yet!

First, let’s get one thing straight: it’s normal for your sex life to change after marriage. A survey found that couples have sex an average of 51 times a year after their first child, compared to 73 times a year before. But hey, quality over quantity, right?

The good news is that just because your sex life might not be as frequent or spontaneous as it once was, it doesn’t mean it’s over. It’s all about communication and effort. Talk to your partner about your needs and desires, and make time for each other.

Need some inspiration? Try spicing things up with some new lingerie, a romantic date night, or even some good ol’ fashioned dirty talk. And don’t forget; it’s not all about penetration. There are plenty of other ways to be intimate with your partner.

So, while your sex life may not be what you expected after marriage, it doesn’t mean it’s the end of the road. 

6. You’ll become a team. 

When you tie the knot, you’re not just signing up for a lifetime of love and companionship but becoming a team. And let me tell you, teamwork makes the dream work!

Now that you are married, you rely on each other’s strength, lean on each other’s support, and come out stronger than ever. That’s the beauty of marriage. It’s not just a union of two individuals; it’s a partnership that can weather any storm. When you’re married, you’re part of a team that’s always got your back. And when you work together, there’s no obstacle you can’t overcome.

So, if you’re thinking about getting hitched, remember this: Marriage is a journey, but it’s best taken with a partner. Find someone who complements you, challenges you, and supports you. And when the going gets tough, hold on tight and remember that you’re in this together. Because in the end, it’s not about who wins or loses; it’s about the bond you share and the memories you make along the way.

7. You’ll gain a new family. 

You’re about to say “I do” to your partner, but have you considered that you’re not only marrying them? You’re also gaining a whole new family! It’s exciting and nerve-wracking all at once, but fear not, we’ve got you covered.

Let’s start with the good news: you’ll have a new set of people who love and support you. They’ll be there for you during the good times and bad, and you’ll get to share in their family traditions and memories.

But we’d be remiss if we didn’t mention the potential challenges of becoming part of a new family. There may be some family drama to navigate, and holiday traditions may differ from what you’re used to.

  • The In-Laws: You may find that some of your new family members are a bit more difficult than others. Maybe your mother-in-law has strong opinions about how you should be raising your children, or your father-in-law insists on giving you financial advice even when you don’t want it. Remember to be patient and try to see things from their perspective.

  • The Holidays: If you thought navigating your family’s holiday traditions was tough, wait until you have to navigate your partner’s traditions too! Maybe your new family doesn’t celebrate Christmas but has a big Hanukkah party every year. Or, perhaps, they have a tradition of going on a family vacation over Thanksgiving. Try to be open-minded and find ways to compromise.

  • The Siblings: You may end up with new siblings-in-law who are your new best friends or frenemies. Just like with any new relationship, getting to know each other and finding common ground takes time. Don’t be afraid to start building relationships with them, and remember that you’re all in this together.

While there may be some challenges when marrying into a new family, remember you’re gaining a whole new support system. Embrace the differences and find ways to bond over your similarities. You may even end up with a new favorite holiday tradition or two!

8. Your love will grow stronger.

Marriage is a beautiful journey with surprises, challenges, and unforgettable moments. But despite the twists and turns, your love for each other will only grow stronger.

  • Remember the first time you met? The butterflies in your stomach, the adrenaline rush, and the excitement of getting to know each other?

  • Now, fast forward to your wedding day, where you exchanged your vows, promising to love and cherish each other through thick and thin, in sickness and in health.

That’s just the beginning of the journey. You’ll create new memories together, from the first time you move in together to the first time you buy a house. You’ll face new challenges, from learning how to compromise to dealing with in-laws. But through it all, you’ll have each other’s backs, supporting each other and growing stronger together.

And here’s the fun part: Did you know that studies show that married couples live longer, have better mental health, and experience more happiness than single individuals?

So, let’s recap:

  • You’ll fall deeper in love with each other as you navigate through life’s surprises and challenges.

  • You’ll create new memories and support each other through it all.

  • You’ll live longer, have better mental health, and experience more happiness as a married couple.

What could be more beautiful than that? So, embrace the journey of marriage and enjoy the ride. Your love will only grow stronger.

Wrap Up

So there you have it–eight surprising changes that could come with married life. The learning curve can be steep, but each bit of knowledge gained can strengthen your union and bind you even closer together. You and your special someone will confront new challenges together, share precious moments interacting as a unit, and cultivate an even deeper understanding of each other. As two individuals become one couple through matrimony, let them both remember to stand beside each other with open arms to embrace all the unexpected joys marriage fully has to offer. And as always, if you find this blog helpful, we’d love for you to share it in the hopes that everyone will experience true love ever-lasting.

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