25 Common Marriage Problems and Their Solutions
Feeling Stuck in Your Marriage? There’s Hope!
Are you struggling in your marriage and feeling like there’s no way forward? Wishing you could repair and restore the love you once shared with your partner? Take heart – transformation, and renewal are absolutely possible!
In part one of this series, we discussed these 5 common marriage problems:
1. Boredom
2. Attempts to change your spouse
3. Communication misunderstandings
4. Lack of appreciation
5. Navigating new/different life stages
If you missed it, go back and check it out here.
But we’re not done yet! In today’s blog, we’ll tackle **5 other common marital issues** that millions of couples face every day, along with their solutions.
Without further ado, let’s dive in and discover the path to a healthier and happier marriage! ?
6. When Anger Turns Marriage into a Win/Lose Game
We’ve all been there – after a long day, you start tallying up points in your head, you versus your spouse. And let’s be honest; you likely came out on top. But don’t forget, your partner may have a different perspective, and their scoreboard may show a little differently – they may think they scored more points than you!
In these moments, we feel like it’s our job to give our spouse a chance to make a comeback! We create an opportunity for them to cook a yummy meal, tidy up the house, put the kids to bed, or whatever the thing is, we mentally tell ourselves they get to do to make it closer to a tie.
Sadly, when our spouse does not take the initiative to make “today” even, despite our best efforts to shove opportunities down their throat, an argument typically ensues. It’s heated, and emotions are running high. Suddenly, the anger takes over, and you may find yourself seeking retribution. You’re not alone in this reaction, but it can quickly turn your marriage into a battleground.
It’s easy to slip into the pattern of keeping score, tallying up who won or lost each day. But when you do this, you’re laying the foundation for an unhealthy relationship. Your focus shifts from supporting each other to constantly trying to settle the score. Your priority becomes gaining the upper hand rather than being there for each other.
Marriage: It’s Not a Game
Here’s the thing: keeping score is for sports, not relationships. Imagine if we treated our marriages like a game of basketball. Every disagreement would be like dribbling the ball down the court, and each point scored would be a victory in the argument. But at the end of the game, would anyone really win?
Nope! In a marriage, it’s not about who can score the most points. Instead, it’s about learning how to work together to solve problems and grow as a couple. So, how can you stop keeping score and start focusing on the bigger picture?
Letting Go of the Scoreboard
First, remind yourself that compromise is a good thing. Sure, you might feel slighted because you “do more” for the house, kids, or marriage, and it may sting a little when you have to give in during an argument. But by doing so, you’re showing your spouse that you value your marriage and the parts both of you play.
Next, focus on the positives in your relationship. Instead of dwelling on past disagreements or perceived slights, remember the good times and the love you share. This will help to shift your mindset away from keeping score and towards a more loving and supportive partnership.
Finally, remember that no one is perfect. Your spouse is bound to make mistakes, just as you will. Learning how to forgive and move on is important, rather than holding onto grudges and keeping score. This will allow you both to grow and strengthen your marriage.
Ultimately, letting go of the scoreboard will lead to a happier, healthier relationship. So, drop the ball and step off the court. It’s time to focus on what really matters: love, trust, and being there for each other.
7. The Web of Lies
Occasionally lurking beneath the surface of what seems like a great marriage is a common marriage problem that’s not just limited to infidelity or selfishness – it’s the ever-present white lies about mundane, everyday things. Those little fibs designed to save face and ensure you don’t lose ground to your spouse.
Imagine one partner lying about how long they spent at the office while the other pretends they didn’t secretly binge-watch their favorite Netflix show instead of doing the dishes. These seemingly harmless lies may not seem like a big deal, but they can slowly erode the foundation of trust in a relationship.
Before you know it, these tiny lies have snowballed into a full-blown avalanche of deceit, burying your marriage under a mountain of untruths. If these lies continue, things will get out of hand, seriously damaging – or even wrecking – the marriage.
Unraveling the Tangled Web
Examining the reasons behind the lies is crucial to tackling this slippery slope. It’s like that age-old saying, “You have to understand the spider to unravel its web.” (Okay, I made that up, but it sounds wise, right?)
Why do you or your partner feel compelled to lie instead of telling the truth? Is it a fear of confrontation, a need for validation, or simply a bad habit?
Once you’ve pinpointed the root cause, it’s time to have an open and honest conversation about your findings. This could be a great opportunity to share a few laughs over the ridiculousness of some past lies, or even to bond over shared insecurities. Remember, laughter and empathy are the kryptonite to dishonesty!
With a newfound understanding of each other’s motivations, you can work together to break free from the web of lies and build a stronger, more honest relationship. So go ahead, plunge into those murky waters of truth, and emerge as a more authentic, connected couple.
8. The Great Expectations Debacle
Once upon a time, in a land where everyone believed in the magic of “happily ever after,” a newlywed couple set forth on their journey of marital bliss.
Like many others, they believed wholeheartedly in the notion that marriage was forever. Yet they failed to put in the time and effort to truly understand one another before tying the knot.
Where did this couple draw their inspiration for the perfect marriage?
From stories, they had heard, of course! And from the couples they knew who seemed to have it all figured out. But they never stopped questioning whether they wanted the same things in life. They simply assumed their love would conquer all.
And so, a mismatch began to grow between the couple’s visions for their future together, creating a vast chasm of unrealistic expectations that threatened to swallow their marriage whole. The husband expected his wife to cook and clean like his mother had, while the wife dreamed of a husband who would whisk her away on romantic getaways, just like her best friend’s spouse.
When these expectations went unfulfilled, the seeds of resentment and disappointment took root. The once-happy couple found themselves on a path from which there might be no return. Their marriage teetered on the brink of collapse because they had failed to communicate their expectations and face reality.
Letting Go of Fairy Tales
Unfortunately, this scenario happens too often with most couples. Each person goes about their day with expectations of one another that are not grounded in reality, and no partner could ever live up to them.
If this seems relatable, it is time to let go of the fairy tale and appreciate the beautiful, messy, imperfect love right before you. It is time to work together to create a marriage that is uniquely your own. Learning to communicate your desires, accept one another’s flaws, and find joy in the little moments that make life worth living.
What’s Next?
Let us learn to cast aside unrealistic expectations that threaten to undermine our relationships and instead embrace the beauty of reality, flaws and all. In accepting one another’s imperfections, we find the true magic of love and create our own version of “happily ever after.”
9. The Great Chore War: Conquering Unequal Division in Marriage
After a long day, your feet ache, your brain is fried, and all you want to do is collapse onto the couch. But as you look around, you see a mountain of dishes, laundry that could rival the height of Mount Everest, and a floor that hasn’t seen a vacuum cleaner in weeks. Oh, and let’s not forget your beloved spouse, who is happily engrossed in their favorite Netflix series, completely oblivious to the chaos surrounding them.
Sound familiar?
If the division of labor in your marriage is more like World War Chores than a harmonious collaboration, you’re not alone. Unequal distribution of household tasks can become a ticking time-bomb in any relationship, and it’s crucial to address it before it detonates.
But fear not, weary warrior! The secret weapon to achieving chore equality in your marriage is none other than – drumroll, please – communication! Yes, it may sound like a broken record, but trust us, it’s the key to unlocking a happy, balanced home life.
Calling a Chore Truce: Tips for a Fair Distribution
First, grab your partner and prepare to engage in a serious, heart-to-heart conversation. Here’s a foolproof plan to divide and conquer those household tasks:
1. Take inventory: Grab a pen and paper (or your smartphone, if you’re feeling tech-savvy) and list all the chores that need to be done around the house. Be thorough – even those pesky tasks like cleaning the toilet or scrubbing the shower grout deserve a spot on the list.
2. Assess your strengths and weaknesses: Let’s face it – we all have chores we despise, and others we don’t mind as much. Maybe you’re a wizard with a mop, while your spouse has a knack for whipping up delicious meals. Discuss your preferences and try to match each person with the tasks they don’t mind (or even enjoy) doing.
3. Be flexible: Life happens, and sometimes we must adjust our chore schedules accordingly. Be open to swapping or taking on additional tasks when necessary, and remember that it’s all part of being a supportive partner.
4. Keep track: To avoid slipping back into old habits, consider creating a chore chart or using a shared app to track your progress. This will help maintain a fair division of labor and provide a satisfying sense of accomplishment as you tick off those completed tasks.
So there you have it – the secret to achieving a harmonious, chore-equal marriage. With open communication, a little bit of planning, and a hearty dose of teamwork, you and your spouse can declare victory in the Great Chore War and enjoy a cleaner, more balanced home life.
10. The Unseen Enemy: Emotional Infidelity
Now, let’s be clear. There’s nothing wrong with having friends outside of a relationship. But sometimes, these friendships can cross a line, leading to a different kind of infidelity: emotional infidelity.
The Invisible Line: When Friendships Cross into Dangerous Territory
Physical infidelity – the act of being sexually involved with someone other than your partner – is often seen as the ultimate betrayal. However, emotional infidelity can be just as damaging, if not more so, to a relationship.
Emotional infidelity is when a partner develops romantic feelings for someone outside of their relationship. It’s a sneaky, subtle enemy that lurks in the shadows, often going unnoticed until it’s too late. And while it may not involve any physical contact, it can still cause a rift between you and your partner, leaving your relationship vulnerable to further damage.
A Tale of Two Hearts: How Emotional Infidelity Begins
What does this look like?
You’re at work, and you’ve just finished a long, tedious project. You lean back in your chair, exhausted, and your coworker pops their head over the cubicle wall. They compliment your hard work and invite you to grab a coffee with them. You accept, and over time, these coffee breaks become a regular part of your routine.
One day, as you’re laughing together over a shared joke, you realize that your heart is racing. You brush it off, but the feeling lingers. Slowly but surely, you find yourself growing closer to this coworker, sharing intimate details about your life and seeking their emotional support. You may not be physically involved, but your heart is starting to stray from your partner.
Checking In: Recognizing the Signs of Emotional Infidelity
So, how can you tell if you’re crossing the line into emotional infidelity? It’s not always easy, but there are some red flags to watch out for:
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You prioritize your “friendship” over your relationship, often choosing to spend time with them rather than your partner.
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You find yourself daydreaming about what could be, envisioning a life with this other person.
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You feel guilty when you’re with your partner, knowing that you’re harboring feelings for someone else.
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You become defensive when your partner expresses concern about your friendship, insisting it’s “innocent.”
If you start to notice these signs, taking a step back and examining your feelings is essential. Are they truly harmless, or are they a sign that you’re wandering into the dangerous territory of emotional infidelity?
Healing the Wounds: Repairing a Relationship after Emotional Infidelity
Emotional infidelity can be difficult to overcome, but it’s not impossible. If you’re willing to work, you can rebuild your relationship and emerge even stronger. Here are some steps to help you get started:
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Be honest with yourself and your partner about your feelings.
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Establish boundaries with the person you’ve developed feelings for, and consider cutting off contact if necessary.
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Work on rebuilding trust with your partner, and be open to their feelings and concerns.
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Seek professional help, like couples therapy, if needed.
Remember, emotional infidelity doesn’t have to end your relationship. With dedication, communication, and a bit of soul-searching, you can overcome this challenge and rediscover the love that brought you together in the first place.
Conclusion
Considering the sheer variety of marriage difficulties, from the mundane to the disastrous, it’s clear that patience and understanding are paramount in any good relationship.
No two couples face the same exact challenges – yet, with resourcefulness and open communication, every couple can find their own path towards a resolution. The old saying still rings true – marriage is a marathon, not a sprint. But if you are willing to commit to taking both the long view and collaborative approach, no problem is too great or difficult to overcome.
From conquering unequal division of chores to respecting boundaries in friendships, couples everywhere can learn powerful lessons about creating an even stronger bond that will stand the test of time. In this crazy world, marriage should be celebrated as one of our most cherished gifts – so keep going Stronger!
**Get excited for Part 3!** We’re going to dive into 5 more common marriage problems to help you strengthen your relationship.
In the meantime, keep holding on and loving your partner. Remember, love conquers all! Stay tuned for more.
