A Comprehensive Guide to Cohabitation – Is Moving in With Your Partner Before Marriage Worth It?

December 4, 2023

Table of Contents

Should You Move in With Your Significant Other?

So, you’ve found the love of your life and are contemplating moving in together. It sounds like a dream come true, but before you take the plunge, we want to equip you with information to make the best decision possible. This blog will go over the following:

  • What Are The Perks of Cohabitation? Is It Mainly To Share Meals & Split Bills?

  • Why Do the Majority Of People Move in Together? Are You Financially Stressed, or Do You Simply Want Convenience? 

  • What Are The Christian Views on Sex, Marriage, and Cohabitation? If You Follow A Religious Path, You May Wonder What Your Faith Has To Say About Cohabitation. 

  • How Does Society View Cohabitation? Does This Affect You Positively Or Negatively?

  • Finally, Married vs. Cohabitation: What Does the Data Say? Are married couples happier and healthier, or can cohabitation be just as successful?

So, before you make the leap and move in with your significant other, let’s explore all the facts together. It’s not a decision to be taken lightly, but with the right information, you’ll be well on your way to a happy and healthy relationship.

Cohabitation: The Modern Love Story

Once upon a time, marriage was the goal for couples in love. But today, more and more people are opting to live together without tying the knot. 

The share of adults who have lived with a romantic partner is now higher than those who have been married.

Adults aged 18 to 44 that have cohabitated are 59%, while only 50% of this group has ever been married, according to the National Survey of Family Growth (NSFG).

Furthermore, 60% of all marriages are now preceded by cohabitation.

But why are so many couples choosing to shack up instead of saying “I do”? 

Some believe that living together first will lower their risk of divorce. Others seek convenience, financial savings, companionship, or a place to escape their parents’ watchful eyes.

Perks Of Cohabitation? Let’s dive in!

Living with your significant other is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’ll get! One minute you’re swooning over their sweet nothings; the next, you’re stepping on their dirty socks in the living room. But fear not, dear reader, because cohabitation also has the perks that make it all worthwhile.

Perk #1: More Time Together

When you’re just dating, finding the time to connect with your partner can be tough. But when you’re living together, you get to wake up to their smiling face every morning (or their grumpy one if they’re not a morning person). You can cook meals together, binge-watch your favorite shows, and have spontaneous dance parties in your living room. Plus, you can always sneak in a quick cuddle session before bed.

Perk #2: Financial Relief

Let’s face it; adulting is expensive. Rent, utilities, groceries – it all adds up. But when living with your significant other, you can split the bills down the middle. Suddenly, that fancy date night you couldn’t afford before is now within reach. And if you’re lucky, maybe your partner will even cook you dinner as a thank you for paying the cable bill.

Perk #3: Security and Companionship

Living alone can be scary, especially at night. But when you have a live-in partner, you have someone to share the burden of keeping the house safe. Plus, you come home to a warm body and a listening ear after a long day. And let’s not forget about the added bonus of having someone to help you zip up that pesky dress or reach that jar on the top shelf.

The Reasons We Move In Together Vs. Reasons We Marry

Love and companionship are the main reasons most adults marry or move in with a partner. But did you know that there are other factors at play?

According to a recent study, finances, and convenience are significant considerations for cohabiters. About 4 out of 10 say that moving in with their partner made sense financially or was convenient. Additionally, about a quarter of cohabiters say that they moved in with their partner because they wanted to test their relationship.

In contrast, only 13% of married adults cite finances, and 10% cite convenience as reasons why they decided to get married.

Interestingly, making a formal commitment is the number one reason couples said they got married, about 63%. This is especially true for those who didn’t live with their spouse before marriage, representing a majority at 74%. 

Cohabitation, Sex, and Marriage: Biblical View

Couples typically claim a right to live together if they intend to marry later on. While they may be sincere in their intention, human love is incompatible with “trial marriages” because we are so fickle. Instead, marriage demands a total and definitive gift of persons to one another. It’s not just about living together but making a lifelong commitment to each other, especially since most cohabitating couples engage in sexual intercourse. 

God intended every act of sexual intercourse to express love, commitment, and openness to life in the total gift of the spouses to each other. It’s not just a physical act but a spiritual one as well. When two people come together this way, they express a profound love beyond words.

But what happens when sex is outside the context of marriage? Well, it can’t express what God intended. It’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It says something false – a total commitment the couple does not yet have. This total commitment is only possible in marriage.

Society’s Thoughts About Cohabitation. 

Criteria For Successful Marriage

Think living together before marriage is a recipe for disaster? Think again. According to recent research, 48% of Americans between the ages of 30-50 believe that couples that live together before marriage have a better chance of successful marriage. That’s right, better!

But that’s not all. Out of the same age group, only 13% believe that living together before marriage has a worse chance of leading to a successful marriage, and 38% say it doesn’t matter. So, what does this tell us? It’s time to put those old-fashioned beliefs aside and embrace the power of cohabitation. 

A whopping 63% of Americans between 18-30 believe living together before marriage can lead to a successful marriage. More than half of young people think sharing a living space before tying the knot is smart. 

Child Raising Abilities

Did you know that 53% of cohabitating adults aged 18 to 44 are raising children? 

That’s a lot of people! Even more interesting is that about a third of them live with children they share with their current partner.

But here’s the real question – can unmarried couples raise children just as well as married couples?

A recent survey shows that most Americans (59%) believe that unmarried couples living together can raise children just as well as married couples. At the same time, 40% of Americans think that married couples will do better with raising children.

Living Together Regardless of Marriage

In the past, living together before marriage was considered taboo. But times have changed, and young adults’ attitudes toward cohabitation. According to recent studies, 78% of those ages 18 to 29 say it’s acceptable for an unmarried couple to live together, even if they don’t plan to get married. But even more surprising is that the majority across every age group share this view.

However, this doesn’t mean that marriage has lost its appeal entirely. Among those younger than 30, 45% believe that society is better off if couples who want to stay together long-term eventually tie the knot.

Married vs. Cohabitation: What Does the Data Say?

What Cohabitation Leads To?

Summarizing The Data On Cohabitation: Is Cohabitation the Key to a Successful Relationship?

Many of us dream of finding the perfect partner, settling down, and living happily ever after. But is cohabitation the key to making this dream come true?

According to recent research by Pew, the answer is a resounding “no.” In fact, the data shows that married couples rank higher than cohabiting couples in almost every aspect of their relationship.

Trust and Satisfaction
The first slide of the research shows that married couples are more satisfied with their overall trust and satisfaction in their relationship. They have a deeper level of commitment and an unbreakable bond that cohabiting couples lack. Surprisingly, married couples also report higher levels of satisfaction with their sex life, despite the common belief that marriage leads to a sexless life.

Unfavorable Statistics
Unfortunately, the second slide also paints a bleak picture of cohabitation. The research shows that cohabitating couples are more likely to break up and end their relationship than married couples.

So, what can we draw from this? 

Many couples believe cohabitation will lower their risk of divorce, but the data tells us that this is not the case. In fact, if the couple eventually marries, there is almost a 50% chance that it will end in divorce.

It’s important to remember that every relationship is unique, and what works for one couple may not work for another. However, if you’re thinking about cohabitating with your partner, it’s worth considering the potential risks and drawbacks it may have on your relationship in the long run.

Conclusion

Making the decision to move in with your significant other is not one to be taken lightly – it is a significant commitment and should require thoughtful consideration. 

Beyond that, living together requires a meaningful relationship built on trust and respect. Each couple will differ in their experience of cohabitation, and ultimately, it’s up to you whether or not you want to take the plunge! 

But, like anything else, remember that communication, understanding, and compassion are the key foundations for making this work (and last!). 

If you’re asking yourself, “Should I move in with my significant other?” know there’s no one-size-fits-all answer – the decision is yours

Ultimately, if you feel happy, safe, valued, and prepared for this new journey, all will be well. Furthermore, if your values align similarly and you have carefully weighed all pros & cons.. why not go for it? 

Remember– whatever decision is made please make sure it allows both parties to continue growing individually & as a couple. 

We hope this blog post has clarified this topic so couples can make informed decisions without fear or regret when approaching such an important milestone in any relationship. If you find this blog helpful, we’d love for you to share it with your community!

Source: Marriage & Cohabitation

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