Relationships are a beautiful thing, but it’s a fact of life that they naturally become less intense over time. We often find ourselves having a little less sex, making a little less effort, and becoming a bit more annoyed by our partner’s quirks. As this happens, many couples believe marriage is the key to rekindling the spark!
Many couples find themselves in a situation where they still love their partner, but the romance has died.
A friend once told me, “I did love my partner, but we became more like friends – the spark is gone. I thought marriage would rekindle the romance we lost.”
Ready to Take the Plunge?
It’s a big decision to make when considering marriage. Will it save your relationship? The answer isn’t always straightforward. Before diving in headfirst, asking yourself a few questions is essential. Here’s a breakdown of 4 questions to consider before you answer that all-important question.
Is It An Exciting Next Step — or an Inevitability?
For some couples, getting married is the ultimate expression of love and commitment. It’s a celebration of their journey together and a joyous anticipation of the future. It’s a thrill that can’t be replicated.
For others, marriage is less a thrilling leap and more an inevitable step. It provides a secure foundation on which they can build a life together, free of the uncertainty and anxiety that comes with the unknown. Whatever your feelings about marriage, it’s a big decision that deserves consideration and care.
Are you Jumping On the Bandwagon: Because All Your Friends are Doing It?
Are you feeling left out? Are all your friends married? Have you reached the point where you look around your circle of friends and realize everyone is getting married or having children?
It’s like one day you all were all single and enjoying your freedom; the next, they are all married – it all seemed to happen so quickly.
Feeling left out and believing marriage is inevitable for your relationship can leave most couples sleepwalking their way into marriage, even when both partners aren’t necessarily happy.
Are the Pressures of Marriage Overwhelming?
Marriage has been a long-held tradition and is still a special event in our society. But all too often, people feel the pressure from both the outside and within to tie the knot.
Families, friends, and society can often emphasize marriage and the need to get married before a certain age. And almost on par, family members and friends start asking, “When are you getting married?”. The constant question starts to pile the pressure onto a relationship that’s already fragile- leading many to feel like they must rush into a decision or be left behind.
At the same time, many individuals also feel pressure from within. They need to be married to be successful or fulfilled in life. This pressure to get married can lead to decisions that are not necessarily in the individual’s best interest.
Ultimately, it is vital to remember that marriage is a personal decision with no right or wrong answer. Before getting married, we should take the time to consider the pros and cons of marriage and make the best decision for us.
Is the Internal Clock Ticking for Having Kids?
For many women, the pressure to have children is real. Whether it’s a societal expectation or an internal drive, it’s a reality many face. Some women choose to have children out of wedlock, while others opt to remain child-free. But for those who do want children, their biology can often be the deciding factor.
Do You Dread the Unknown?
Sometimes couples fear the unknown and worry about who they’ll find to replace their current partner or how they’ll manage independently.
But it’s important to remember that you have the power to create the life you want, even if that means taking a few risks. The fear of the unknown can stop us from making positive changes in our lives, but staying in an unhappy relationship isn’t the only option.
It can be tempting to stay in a relationship purely out of fear of the unknown. We tell ourselves, “He’s a nice guy; he won’t cheat on me. What else would I find at my age? Can it get any better?”
We worry that if we do make a change, we might never be able to find anyone else. But when it comes to matters of the heart, it’s important to remember you never know what incredible things lie around the corner, and you don’t want to miss out on them because of fear. So don’t be afraid to take a chance, and follow your heart.
Marriage: Is It Your Relationship Savior?
When relationships are in trouble, it’s easy to think that marriage could be the ultimate solution. After all, marriage is the ultimate commitment, right?
Before you take the plunge and say, “I do,” consider the things above and ask whether you move forward from a place of fear or love.
Perhaps marriage can save your relationship, however before making such a life-changing decision consider if you are:
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Making the decision based on emotion? It’s natural to feel an intense desire to save your relationship, but be careful not to let your emotions cloud your decisions. Take a step back and ask yourself if marriage is really the best choice for you and your relationship.
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Ignoring the big issues? It’s important to talk openly and honestly about the issues in your relationship. Marriage should not be seen as a “quick fix” for problems brewing for a while.
Overall marriage is a big step and shouldn’t be rushed into without considering the implications. Take the time to think about it and make the best decision for you and your relationship.
What Can You Do?
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Talk to your partner. Openly and honestly discussing your feelings can help you gain clarity and decide whether marriage is the right step for you both.
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Seek help. Talking to a professional therapist or counselor can help you work through your feelings if you’re feeling overwhelmed.
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Take time. Don’t rush into marriage if you’re uncertain. Take time to think, talk, and consider all the options.
The decision to marry is enormous — so take the time to ensure you’re making the right choice. Don’t let fear hold you back from speaking up and being honest with your partner.