Become Irresistible: Avoid These 7 Common Mistakes!

At SimplyMidori, when it comes to singleness and dating, we are understandably vocal about men taking the reins in regards to pursuing women. However, simply allowing men to make the first move should not relegate women to follow passive roles; with this mindset, feminine attractiveness can suffer drastic setbacks. Consequently, I’d like to offer seven persuasive examples of what not to do that many of us have observed commonly among our female cohort.

1. Barrage of Selfie Photos 

Ladies, I know you’re ecstatic to snap that perfect, kissy-face selfie and share it online, but listen up. Are you ready for the truth? Posting as many selfies as possible to find an eligible bachelor is probably not the best idea. Instead, try venturing out to places where you can meet amazing guys and be your confident, stunning self in person. Skip the desperate measures and shine like the star you were meant to be!

2. Over-sexualizing Yourself 

 Ladies, let’s get real- it’s a pretty heady feeling to have men drooling over your physical appearance. But you need to know that signaling that you’re nothing more than just a body screams out one message – you have no worth beyond that. 

Here’s the truth, your dignity and self-respect are the foundation of your intrinsic value as a woman. Every time you cheapen yourself by objectifying or letting others objectify you, you willingly surrender your power and surrender your self-respect. Instead, your character, intelligence, and unique abilities should be the driving force that defines you. 

Why Self-Respect and Modesty Matters

My dear ladies, it’s time to invest in self-respect and modesty and grasp how incredible you are. Dignifying yourself and building yourself up based on your remarkable qualities is the only way to regain personal power and invite recognition for your abilities. 

Let’s not forget one thing, a respectable man wants a woman who carries herself with grace, poise, and intelligence. These are traits that are indispensable but are unfortunately lost in the noise of the world. By embracing and prioritizing self-respect and modesty, only then will you attract partners who appreciate you for the incredible woman you are with no regard to just physical appearance.

3. Overtalking

The rush of excitement, coupled with a tinge of nervousness, as you prepare for a date can be electrifying. You want to make a good impression, keep the conversation flowing, and show off your best self. However, one thing can easily ruin it all – poor communication skills.

Don’t Let Overtalking Ruin Your Chance at Love

Overtalking is one of the most common communication pitfalls you might encounter. So, what do you do if you’re the type of person who can’t stop talking when you’re nervous? First, make sure you have some questions prepared ahead of time to avoid relying on your phone, paper, or whiteboard. Strike a balance in your conversations, sharing enough to be interesting but not so much that your date feels interrogated. 

Remember, dating is a two-way street.

Tips to Make Your Conversations Count

Active listening is an essential foundation for quality communication. While it’s important to share about yourself, take the time to listen actively to your date’s body language, tone of voice, and the topics they bring up. Engage in active listening by asking follow-up questions and clarifying statements. Don’t be afraid to take breaks between conversations, take a sip of water, use the restroom, or step outside for some fresh air. This allows you both to reflect on the conversation and avoid feeling overwhelmed. When asking questions, avoid yes or no questions that lead to one-word answers. Instead, ask thought-provoking, open-ended questions that invite your date to share more about themselves. This encourages a deeper level of conversation and helps you get to know each other better. 

And most importantly, be aware of your nonverbal cues. Your body language speaks louder than words. Be mindful of your posture, eye contact, and facial expressions. Avoid fidgeting, crossing your arms, or looking around the room while your date talks. Use these tips, and you’ll be well on your way to a great, engaging date filled with substantive conversations and emotional connections.

4. Bad-mouthing your Body

Ladies, listen up! We all have insecurities about our bodies. The struggle to feel confident in our skin is real, and the temptation to criticize ourselves is too easy. But please remember, this negative self-talk can be unattractive to potential suitors. 

Let me share a personal anecdote with you. Back in my single days, people used to compliment me on my looks all the time. But all I ever talked about was losing weight and feeling fat. And you know what? Others became so annoyed by my words that they would leave or change the subject. Looking back at old pictures, I realize how delusional I was.

So, when we bad-mouth our own bodies, it can negatively impact how others perceive us. They stop seeing our beauty and become focused on our comments. This can be detrimental when you’re trying to attract a partner.

But don’t worry; there are ways to work through your insecurities. It’s essential to have a positive body image to attract the right people. Instead of venting to potential suitors or friends, talk to a counselor who can provide your support and guidance.

And remember, you are beautiful just the way you are. Making insulting comments about your appearance only undermines the beauty that you possess. Embrace your unique features and believe in yourself; confidence is one of a person’s most attractive qualities.

5. Failing to Reciprocate

Dating is tough, especially for men who are and should initiate everything. The pressure can be overwhelming, from asking for a date to planning activities and initiating physical touch. And when they do take the plunge, a lack of reciprocation can crush their spirit. But let’s talk about how reciprocation can make all the difference in a healthy and fulfilling relationship, especially in the early stages of dating, where insecurities run rampant. 

Reciprocation isn’t about grand gestures or extravagant gifts. It’s about simple acts of kindness that show your interest and appreciation. It can be a playful emoji, a compliment, or even asking questions about his life. These small gestures can profoundly impact making a man feel valued and appreciated. 

But remember, reciprocation is not about throwing yourself at him. Instead, focus on being genuinely interested in him as a person. What are his hobbies, passions, and goals? Showing that you truly care about his life will go a long way in building a foundation of trust and connection. So, why not take that first step and reciprocate his efforts? It could be the start of a beautiful relationship.

6. Coming Off as Desperate

Interactions with men often make many women feel desperate, especially when they’re keen on pursuing a romantic relationship. Sadly, this desperation isn’t usually caused by any action of theirs but by how they perceive their actions. For instance, when a woman is about to hit up a man, and he senses clinginess or desperation creeping in, it can be an instant turn-off for the man.

However, if women approach men with confidence and self-worth, they are more likely to attract a man who respects and values them. It’s crucial to keep in mind that you’re a valuable and desirable woman because God made you that way, and you deserve respect and love. You have complete control over your happiness, and a man shouldn’t be the only source of your fulfillment.

So, the next time you fall into the trap of feeling desperate and clingy around a man, take a step back and remind yourself of your worth and value. You deserve nothing less than a partner who honors, respects, and cherishes you. Allow him to pursue you and revel in the thrill of the chase.

7. Oversharing

It’s natural to want to open up and share personal information with someone you’re getting to know, but it’s important to consider the timing and appropriateness of what you share. While it’s great to be open and honest, oversharing too soon can create an awkward or uncomfortable situation for you and your date.

Waiting before divulging personal information can be a game-changer, avoiding awkward situations and making or breaking a good relationship. But what details should you hold back? 

Talk of family problems, high school exploits, or health issues, especially early on, can make your date uneasy, overly emotional, or worse, needy and insecure. You’re better off sharing that stuff when the time is right.

In the meantime, remember that you’re interesting on your own and don’t need to overshare to impress your date. Engaging in thoughtful conversations, asking intriguing questions, and sharing revealing but appropriate details will make your interactions fun and engaging while building a strong foundation for a fulfilling connection.

Conclusion

Even if you’re feeling panicked after reading this list and noticing you’ve overlooked some of these areas, fret not- these are meant to be thought-provoking, not overwhelming. Furthermore, while following these suggestions won’t guarantee you find a partner, they certainly ease the process of getting to know someone and putting your best foot forward.