The Incredible Journey of Healing Sexuality

Sexual abuse leaves deep scars, affecting survivors’ sexuality and lives in various ways. It’s a profound betrayal of trust and affection, directly attacking a person’s intimate identity.

Our sexuality is deeply personal, encompassing our feelings about gender, comfort with our bodies, sexual thoughts, sexual behaviors and relationships.

Whether the abuse was a gentle seduction or a violent rape, it undoubtedly impacts how survivors perceive the world and women experience their sexuality.

Thankfully, effective healing techniques now exist and are available to help survivors address and overcome the sexual repercussions caused by abuse.

I genuinely hope that you can find healing power more swiftly than I did. By doing so, you can enjoy freedom!

What are the causes of sexual wounding?

In my personal experience, I have suffered from sex abuse during my childhood, which led to my own sexual and emotional wounding. However, through years of dedicated healing, spiritual practice to connect with the divine and self-work, I am grateful to say that I have reclaimed my sexual energy and now genuinely enjoy a fulfilling and pleasure filled sexual experience where my own pleasure is prioritized.

It’s important to note that sexual wounding can stem from various sources, including trauma, abuse, societal influences, and personal choices. The healing journey is unique for each individual, but with dedication and support, it is possible to overcome past wounds and embrace a positive and empowering sexual experience.

What is sexual healing?

Sexual healing is a transformative journey where you reclaim your sexuality as a positive and pleasurable aspect of your life. Through the use of specialized healing strategies and techniques, you actively work towards changing any negative attitudes towards sex and your sexual behaviors, that may have been influenced by past abuse. This process empowers you to embrace a healthier and more fulfilling sexual experience.

The journey of sexual healing typically encompasses several important aspects:

• Gaining a deeper understanding of the nature of past events that have shaped your body and sexuality

• Increasing awareness of your physical body and self

• Cultivating a positive and healthy sense of your own body and sexuality

• Acquiring new skills to engage in safe and life-affirming experiences of touch and sexual intimacy

By actively addressing these facets, individuals can embark on a transformative path towards reclaiming their sexuality and fostering a more fulfilling and empowered relationship with themselves, society, and ultimately their partners.

How can I reconnect my body sexually?

It is important to recognize that different survivors may require varying levels of sexual healing work. Engaging in this process can potentially trigger memories of abuse, evoking intense emotions like anger, depression, or extreme sadness.

When beginning the journey of sexual healing, realize it is important to acknowledge and address the wider impact of sexual abuse. By prioritizing your mental well-being and building a strong support system, you can set the stage for a successful and lasting healing process.

While some survivors may navigate the process of sexual healing independently, others may benefit from the guidance and support of a trained mental health practitioner. Seeking professional care is recommended, as it can help navigate the possibility of traumatic memories and feelings resurfacing during the healing journey.

5 Tips To Boost Your Sexual Energy!

1. Seperation

Rebuilding your sexual experiences after experiencing abuse can be challenging, but there’s a helpful technique that can make a difference. Take a moment to visualize and connect with your inner child before engaging in sex. Reassure her that as an adult, you’ve chosen this experience and encourage her to be free to play elsewhere with the help of angels.

Remember, it’s you, the adult, who is in control of the situation. This visualization can help you stay present and develop new positive thoughts and feelings about sex.

Survivors often face automatic and unpleasant reactions to touch, stemming from sex trauma. But with understanding and patience, you can learn to handle these reactions effectively.

When you encounter an unwanted physical reaction, pause and become consciously aware your body. Use slow breathing, self-massage, and relaxation techniques to calm yourself physically and your central nervous system. Remind yourself of who you are now and that you have choices.

With time and increased body awareness, these automatic reactions will diminish, allowing you to enjoy sex without interference from past trauma, anxiety and pain.

2. Know You Were Innocent

Our lives start off as innocent. However, as a result of sexual abuse or subsequent experiences, you may develop false beliefs about your body and your sexuality. These beliefs might make you tell a story to yourself about how you are inherently bad, damaged, or solely an object for someone else’s use.

It is important to let go of the past and focus on creating a healthy sexual future for yourself. You are not defined by the negative labels imposed by an offender or by the way you perceived yourself after the abuse. You now have the power to choose and assert your true self in your interactions with others.

3. Talk

A result of being abused was a lack of ability to express my emotions. There were times where I simply needed someone to listen, without that person trying to fix it, or give me empathy, guilt or sympathy.

I talked to a therapist, did group therapy and had multiple conversations with my husband. All proved therapeutic for me and helped me release stored emotions.

It’s crucial to find a form of expression for your feelings, as allowing anger, shame and fear to overwhelm you during intimacy can hinder the ability to enjoy a pleasurable sexual experience.

4. Understand You Are Important

Abuse can severely impact your self-worth, hindering the path to healthy sexual relationships. It’s essential to shed any beliefs that undermine healing before you can begin to build a new emotional foundation for positive experiences.

Low self-worth may lead to engaging in a sexual expression you don’t genuinely desire, be it an unsafe behavior, extramarital affairs, promiscuity, violent or degrading encounters, compulsive sex, masturbation and harmful sexual fantasies.

Remember, you are important and deserving of respect. Stop the self-inflicted harm and transform your perception of sex. Embrace a healthier and more empowering approach to your sexuality.

5. Explore Touch Techniques

Relearn intimate touch through special exercises. Some can be done alone, while others require a partner. These exercises help with relaxation, communication, presence, and expressing love through physical contact. They range from playful to sensual activities. Modify sex therapy techniques using these new skills to address specific sexual problems like orgasmic or erectile difficulties.

Know that healing sexually is worth it.

You have the power to heal and overcome the pain and shame of the past. A free and bright future awaits you, a life filled with self-respect, personal fulfillment, and emotional intimacy. Reclaiming your sexuality means reclaiming your true self.

It took me a long time to confront the deep shame I carried regarding sex. In the early years, I pushed it aside and lacked the necessary communication skills to address it. It wasn’t until I got married that I felt ready to face the subject and the shame of it head-on. Something about being married gave me a sense of comfort, knowing that my partner was by my side.

Commonly Asked Questions:

Do I need to be in a relationship to do sexual healing work?
You don’t need to be in a relationship to do sexual healing work. Some exercises are designed for single survivors. However, if you have a partner, your partner needs to become educated about the sexual repercussions of abuse and learn strategies for participating actively and effectively in the healing process.

How long does it take to Heal sexually?
Keep in mind that sexual healing is a gradual, natural and individualized process that can span from several months to several years, or even longer. It is important to approach this journey as advanced recovery work, which means it is advisable to begin it when you have already established a stable and safe sex lifestyle.