What Is Foreplay?
Foreplay can be anything enjoyable that you do at any time. People and couples have different preferences, so why not consider anything pleasurable in your definition of foreplay? Your definition of foreplay could include everything you engage in that is enjoyable, right up to intercourse. Having fun with foreplay can be exciting, and sometimes, you might just want to skip the main event. Explore and enjoy yourself!
In society, foreplay is often viewed as complicated, associated with sex toys, a mind blowing orgasm, whipped cream, candles or something we have seen in a romantic sexy movie. However to capture what foreplay really is I want you to think about the early stages of falling in love when thoughts of the other person sparked constant anticipation.
Remember all the simple acts like a quick call, getting their favorite candy, sending thoughtful messages, whatever it was you often conveyed that your partner holds a special place in your heart. Typically thoughtful gestures that express love are forms of foreplay. For this blog we are going to assume you know how to do those things. Below we have 9 tips that will help get your partner aroused.
Related Reading: How To Show Your Spouse That They Matter
9 Tips To Level Up Your Foreplay Techniques
When it comes to foreplay your goal is to get more blood flow pumping to those areas of passion. Here’s how:
1. Set The Stage With Romance
Romance begins with those small things mentioned earlier that two people can do at any time to convey messages like “I love you,” “I want you,” “I’m glad I’m with you,” and “I’m looking forward to being intimate with you.”
FYI: Romantic feelings arise when people feel valued. We all desire appreciation and acknowledgment, and that’s essentially what romance is about.
If romantic gestures don’t come naturally, create a list of simple things to show your partner you care. Smile when they enter the room, listen to their stories, make the bed, do unexpected tasks, open doors, cook a meal, or take care of chores. These small actions are what many women miss in a marriage.
Related Reading: 19 Ways To Show Your Love
2. Use Clothes For Foreplay
Over time, costumes and sexy outfits have changed, from revealing bustiers to modest veils that follow cultural trends. In the privacy of our homes today, it’s easier to let our imaginations roam freely. While you’ll eventually end up nude, incorporating clothing into foreplay can intensify your lover’s sexual arousal. Simply trust your instincts you know what body parts your partner stares at.
3. Talk Dirty To Build Sexual Tension
A touch of naughty whispering brings excitement sex. Let’s be real, most people don’t like complete silence during sexual activity; hence a more vocal partner makes sex better. FYI: Talking dirty will instantly give your sex life a boost.
How To Use Sex Talk In Foreplay…Regina Keating, a certified sex therapist, advises that the key to engaging in dirty sex talk is discovering the type and level of sex conversation that excites both you and your partner the most. It can be a bit challenging initially because what you consider dirty sex talk might be seen as obscene or even disturbing by your partner.
If you have been non-verbal while having sex ease into dirty talk. You can start with louder moans and simple expressions like “More! Harder! Faster! Slower! Don’t Stop!” Progress slowly to more daring language, staying alert to your partner’s reactions. If you want to take your dirty sex talk to a new level start sharing your sexual fantasy and watch what unfolds.
Related Reading: 10 Sex Positions That Will Leave You Satisfied
4. Use Touch To Increase Foreplay
When it comes to spicing up our sex life, we rarely take the time to slow down and explore every inch of our partner’s body. Take a moment and think about last time you asked your partner about their preferences or the last time you took a finger or a tongue to touch and explore your partner’s erogenous zones?
Related Reading: How To Arouse Your Partner
Fun Activity … Cynthia Bradley, a sex therapist, advises couples to slow down before engaging in sex, allowing time to explore each other’s bodies. Afterward, she recommends that both partners create a list of what brings pleasure and indicate preferred areas for touching or kissing. The goal is to identify each other’s top spots for a more fulfilling connection.
Related Reading: How To Talk About Sex
How To Use Touch In Foreplay..There are multiple ways to make erotic touch happen as you can use your hands, feet, and other body parts, sex toys (or an ice cube). Here are some ideas or things to try as you leverage physical foreplay before sex:
- Gently touch, as light as a feather, use your fingertips, palms, back of your hand, or even your cheek.
- Delicately scratch using your fingernails. Explore gently around your partner’s inner thighs, scrotum, breasts, nipples, buttocks, back, and head. Take your time and move with a slow touch.
- Gently biting can be quite sensual. Experiment with light nibbling around the ears and neck of your partner.
- Gently pull your partner’s genital hair, using a larger handful rather than smaller pieces (as you do so feel free to fondle your partners penis or vagina lips).
- Employ your breath to gently blow on your partner, whether it’s behind the ears, over the face, or across the genitals.
5. Use A Sensual Massage For The Ultimate Foreplay
Massage, an excellent choice for foreplay, encompasses multiple benefits, including stress relief, relaxation, sensual pleasure, muscular well-being, lymphatic health, emotional release, body realignment, and more. When imagining the perfect sensual experience with a partner, massages often play a central role. Nothing brings two bodies in the same room together for pleasure like warm oil and tender hands. Starting with a massage is a great way foreplay tool that will lead to intercourse.
Foreplay Tips For A Massage… To give a good massage, get ready by picking a comfy spot, grabbing a big towel, warming the oil, playing some music, and warming up the room. When you’re set, ask your partner to lie down on their stomach, relax, and let them know you’re ready to start – check if they need anything before you begin.
Start by rubbing your hands together vigorously for a couple of minutes to warm them up. Gently place them on your partner’s back and let them relax for a few minutes. Move your hands slowly over their body, adjusting to ensure both you and your partner feel comfortable and receive pleasure.
Remember: Avoid surprising your partner during a massage by adjusting touch depth and pressure gradually. Keep one hand on them when applying new oil to maintain connection. Check with your partner on their preferred touch intensity—whether they prefer it deeper or lighter.
6. Leverage Your Scent For Foreplay
Scents and aromas wield significant influence; they can impact mood and evoke memories and emotions. Our emotional body often associates specific smells with events in our lives, triggering recollections of childhood, first love, or cherished holidays when we encounter a familiar scent.
Search for a scent that your partner loves.
7. Use Feng Shui To Nurture Foreplay
Your bedroom sets the tone for your relationship, starting your day and ending your night. Make it a sensual, cozy, and private sanctuary. Creating a beautiful, harmonious, and functional space not only enhances your sensual life but also feeds your spiritual and aesthetic needs. Living in harmony with your environment is an art form.
Asks yourself does your bedroom feel inviting, or is it overwhelmed with clutter and unpleasant sights? In bedroom feng shui, focus on bed placement, light, air, and overall flow. Think about colors and comfort to create an inviting space for both you and your partner. Consider bed placement, lighting, air flow, colors, and comfort as these all make the room inviting and cozy.
8. Initiate Foreplay With The Art of Kissing
Kissing is an art that gets better with practice and intention. Our lips are very sensitive and responsive to stimulation. Some people keep their lips tense, not allowing them to relax and be open to the giving and receiving needed for great kissing.
Practice using your lips with a gentle and open approach. Keep them slightly parted and moist to increase sensitivity. Practice soft pouting when alone to relax your lips and reveal more of the fleshy interior. Develop awareness of your lips by eating meals slowly and feeling the food passing between them. Try sucking on soft fruit, such as a piece of mango, to experience the effects on your mouth and lips (this will also help you with oral sex).
Best Foreplay Tips For Kissing… Prepare for a kiss by moistening your lips, then slightly open your mouth, tilt your head a bit, and move gently forward. Start without using your tongue. Let your lips gently explore your partner’s. Take it slow. Gradually deepen the kiss, adding a bit of suction as you open your mouth wider.
For some french kissing is a huge turn on, for others not so much. If you want to french kiss gently probe with your tongue into your partner’s mouth (BE VERY GENTLE- DO NOT FORCE). Allow your partner to open their mouth; let your tongue explore their mouth and tongue slowly. Tease and enjoy being teased. Remember the more subtle, the better. Treating kissing as playful and erotic foreplay can make it very enjoyable before penetrative sex.
9. Use Everyday To Create Foreplay Moments
Infuse romance into your day by creating special moments together. While public displays of affection may vary across cultures, there are subtle and appropriate gestures even in our society. Hold hands while walking, share a kiss in public, and engage in playful romantic games throughout the day. Play footsies under the table or anything that adds a touch of childlike romance to your moments together.
Conclusion
In the words of George Michael, “Sex is natural, sex is fun.” While this may be true, it doesn’t always feel that way. Although sex is a natural biological process, for some, especially those who are self-conscious in the bedroom, it may not come naturally. Feeling worried, anxious, self-conscious, or distracted can hinder the enjoyment of sex.
The good news is that having great sex isn’t impossible. In fact, it might be more achievable than you think. With a bit of effort and practice, your sex life can become better than you ever imagined. You likely already have the basic ingredients for a fantastic sexual experience: desire, passion, primal urges, and a willing partner.
Equipped with the knowledge above we hope you feel better informed, and excited about sex! Happy Intercourse!
