The feminist movement of the 1960s and 70s was a pivotal moment in the fight for women’s equality, breaking through societal norms and empowering women to assert their place in a patriarchal world. Despite these significant strides, many women today are experiencing a troubling sense of diminished vitality.
Biological sex influences socio-sexual attitudes and behaviors, contributing to differences in how men and women experience and express their energy.
More and more, women find their innate feminine energy—the very source of their strength, creativity, and intuition—slipping away under the weight of modern demands.
What’s truly behind this unsettling shift? Is it the relentless societal pressures, overwhelming work demands, or something deeper? Let’s find out what’s taking away your feminine energy.
What is Feminine energy?
Feminine energy refers to a set of qualities and traits traditionally associated with femininity, but not limited to women alone. It encompasses attributes like intuition, empathy, nurturing, creativity, and receptivity. Feminine energy is about being open, flowing, and connected to one’s emotions and surroundings. Here’s a breakdown of what feminine energy typically involves:
- Intuition: Trusting inner feelings and instincts rather than relying solely on logic or external validation.
- Empathy and Nurturing: Providing support and understanding, fostering relationships, and creating a sense of community.
- Creativity: Embracing imagination and expression in various forms, whether through art, problem-solving, or innovative thinking.
- Receptivity: Being open to receiving and experiencing emotions, ideas, and support from others without resistance.
- Flow and Flexibility: Adapting to change and going with the flow rather than rigidly controlling outcomes.
- Collaboration: Valuing teamwork, cooperation, and the collective over competition and individual achievement.
A feminine woman embracing her innate femininity can inspire men to naturally take on their masculine roles, leading to healthier dynamics in relationships.
Feminine energy is about balance and harmony, blending these attributes to create a sense of completeness and well-being. It’s important to note that both men and women can embody these qualities, and embracing feminine energy can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life. Societal expectations often dictate that women behave in a feminine way, which shapes individual perceptions of femininity.
What is Masculine energy?
Masculine energy encompasses traits and qualities traditionally associated with masculinity, though they are not limited to men. It includes:
- Assertiveness: Taking initiative, making decisions confidently, and expressing one’s needs and desires clearly.
- Logic and Rationality: Prioritizing analytical thinking, problem-solving, and objective decision-making.
- Strength and Resilience: Demonstrating physical, emotional, and mental fortitude, and handling challenges with determination.
- Independence: Valuing self-sufficiency and autonomy, and taking responsibility for one’s actions and outcomes.
- Action and Focus: Emphasizing goal-setting, taking decisive action, and staying focused on achieving objectives.
- Leadership: Guiding, directing, and inspiring others, often in a strategic and visionary manner.
Masculine energy is about structure, direction, and purpose. Like feminine energy, it is not confined to a specific gender—everyone can embody and benefit from these attributes. Balancing masculine and feminine energies can lead to a more holistic and fulfilling approach to life.
What do women with masculine traits look like?
A masculine woman embodies qualities traditionally associated with masculine energy, though these traits can be expressed by anyone, regardless of gender. Here’s what you might find in a woman who exhibits more masculine energy:
Variations in gender traits, specifically masculinity in heterosexual women, are positively correlated with higher sociosexuality, indicating that these gender norms and expressions can influence sexual behavior and preferences.
Gender nonconformity can also be seen in feminine men, where sociosexual orientation and behaviors are influenced by the complexity and variability of these traits across different sociocultural settings.
1. Direct and Decisive
She’s not one to mince words. When she has an opinion or a decision to make, she states it clearly and takes action without hesitation. Whether in a meeting or personal situation, she is straightforward and confident in her approach.
2. Career-Focused and Ambitious
She often prioritizes her career goals and ambitions. You might find her deeply invested in her professional life, driven by a desire to succeed and make a significant impact in her field.
3. Emotionally Reserved
She might approach emotional matters with a more reserved or pragmatic stance. Instead of openly sharing feelings, she may prefer to process emotions internally and handle them in a practical way.
4. Self-Reliant
She values independence highly, often handling responsibilities and challenges on her own. She is comfortable being self-sufficient and prefers to rely on her own skills and resources.
5. Strategic Thinker
She tends to think ahead and plan strategically. Whether she’s managing a project or navigating personal goals, she takes a methodical approach, focusing on long-term outcomes and practical solutions.
6. Leadership and Influence
She naturally gravitates towards leadership roles, whether in her career, social groups, or family settings. She has a knack for organizing and motivating others, often taking charge when needed.
7. Practical and Solution-Oriented
When faced with problems, she looks for actionable solutions rather than getting bogged down by emotional aspects. Her approach is often practical, focusing on what needs to be done rather than how it feels.
8. Independent in Relationships
In personal relationships, she values space and autonomy. She’s likely to maintain a strong sense of self and expect mutual respect for her need for independence.
This blend of traits reflects a person who integrates traditionally masculine qualities into their identity, creating a unique and powerful presence.
Why Do Women Become Masculine?
Women who once embodied a soft, nurturing femininity may shift toward more traditionally masculine traits for a range of reasons, often rooted in deeply personal and painful experiences. Here’s a blunt look at what turns feminine women into masculine women.
Masculine personality traits are linked to higher levels of unrestricted sociosexuality, indicating a correlation between personality characteristics and sexual behaviors.
1. Trauma and Abuse
The Neurobiological Impact of Trauma
Trauma doesn’t just affect emotions; it alters brain chemistry and neural pathways. For women who have experienced abuse, chronic activation of the brain’s stress response system—particularly the amygdala (which handles threat detection) and the HPA axis (which regulates cortisol, the stress hormone)—can lead to a constant state of heightened alertness. This biological response makes it difficult to regulate emotions and increases sensitivity to perceived threats.
Insight
Consider the brain as a security system that has been compromised. When it’s constantly on high alert, any sense of vulnerability is amplified. To cope with this, the brain may favor traits that offer more control and stability, such as assertiveness and emotional detachment. This shift is not just about adapting behavior but reflects deep neurological changes designed to manage a persistent state of threat.
The Psychological Impact of Repeated Trauma
Repeated or prolonged exposure to trauma can lead to complex PTSD, which affects emotional regulation, self-perception, and interpersonal relationships. Women with complex PTSD might develop traits associated with masculinity as a way to manage chronic emotional distress and instability, further distancing themselves from their vulnerable, feminine aspects.
Trauma and Identity Formation
Trauma can disrupt identity development, leading to a fragmented sense of self. For some women, the process of adapting masculine traits becomes part of reconstructing their identity in a way that feels safer and more coherent. This shift can be an attempt to rebuild a sense of self that feels less fragmented and more unified.
Biological and Hormonal Changes
Trauma can impact hormonal balances, influencing mood and behavior. Elevated cortisol levels from chronic stress can affect emotional responses and resilience. Women might gravitate towards masculine traits as a way to counterbalance these hormonal changes and regain emotional stability.
Impact on Relationships
Trauma often affects how individuals relate to others. Women who have experienced trauma may adopt masculine traits to set boundaries and protect themselves in relationships. This can lead to difficulties in forming intimate connections, as the traits that once served as protection can become barriers to genuine emotional engagement.
Self-Perception and Internalized Shame
Trauma can lead to feelings of shame and a negative self-image. Women might adopt masculine traits as a way to counteract these feelings, viewing strength and control as antidotes to the shame and vulnerability they associate with their traumatic experiences.
2. Societal Devaluation and Cultural Reinforcement
Cultural Hierarchies and Valuation of Traits
In many cultures, masculine traits such as decisiveness, independence, and assertiveness are held in high esteem, while feminine traits like empathy, nurturing, and emotional expressiveness are often undervalued or dismissed. This cultural hierarchy can create significant disadvantages for women who exhibit traditionally feminine qualities. They may face barriers in professional settings or social spheres where these traits are seen as weaknesses or liabilities.
Insight
Consider how a woman with strong interpersonal skills might be overlooked for leadership roles despite her ability to build and sustain effective teams. As societal expectations prioritize traits associated with masculinity—such as boldness and self-reliance—she may start to view her natural empathy and collaborative nature as hindrances rather than assets. In response, she might consciously or unconsciously adopt more masculine behaviors to align with the prevailing values that reward such traits, leading to a shift in her self-presentation.
Social Conditioning and Professional Advancement
The professional world often rewards characteristics like assertiveness and competitiveness, reinforcing the idea that these are the qualities necessary for success. Women who conform to these expectations by adopting masculine traits may find it easier to advance in their careers. However, women acting in masculine ways to gain respect and equality often lose touch with their feminine identities. This alignment with culturally rewarded traits can perpetuate a cycle where masculine behaviors are reinforced as more valuable, while feminine qualities are pushed to the background.
Insight
Imagine a woman who, despite her excellence in teamwork and emotional intelligence, finds herself consistently passed over for promotions. Over time, the pressure to conform to a masculine ideal for career advancement might lead her to adopt traits such as aggressive negotiation tactics or a more detached demeanor. This shift is driven by the need to meet the expectations of a system that values masculine traits over feminine ones.
Cultural Reinforcement and Self-Perception
As societal norms increasingly celebrate masculine traits, women may internalize these values, leading to a shift in how they perceive their own qualities. Traits that were once seen as natural and positive can become viewed as less valuable or even problematic if they don’t align with cultural expectations. This internalization of societal values can lead women to modify their behavior and self-expression to better fit the culturally endorsed model.
Insight
Consider the impact of media portrayals that often glorify masculine attributes while downplaying or ridiculing feminine ones. A woman exposed to such cultural narratives may begin to feel that her inherent qualities are less worthy or effective. As a result, she might strive to embody more masculine traits to gain social validation and align with the perceived standards of success and respect.
Social Pressure and Adaptation
Social pressures can lead women to adapt their behavior to fit societal expectations. This adaptation is often a strategic move to navigate environments that favor masculine traits and to mitigate the disadvantages associated with exhibiting feminine qualities. Over time, these adaptations can become ingrained, shifting their natural tendencies toward more masculine behaviors.
Women’s sociosexuality can vary based on their gender nonconformity, with some studies indicating that more gender nonconforming heterosexual women may demonstrate higher sociosexuality.
Insight
Think of a woman who adjusts her behavior in social or professional settings to meet the expectations of those around her. Initially, these changes might be a conscious effort to fit in or succeed. However, as she continues to adapt, these masculine traits can become a more permanent part of her identity, reflecting the pressures and rewards of the cultural context in which she operates.
3. Need for Control and Internalized Coping Mechanisms
Response to Powerlessness
Trauma and societal pressures can create a pervasive sense of powerlessness and instability. In response, women often develop coping mechanisms that emphasize control and self-sufficiency. Traits such as independence and rationality are adopted as strategies to manage immediate stress and establish a sense of order amidst chaos. These traits initially serve as effective tools for navigating and mitigating ongoing challenges.
Insight
Imagine a woman who has faced significant instability in her life, whether from trauma or external pressures. Adopting masculine traits like assertiveness and emotional detachment can initially be a strategic move to regain a sense of control. These traits act as tools for managing stress and creating stability in an unpredictable environment. Over time, what began as a survival strategy becomes a deeply ingrained part of her personality, as these coping mechanisms provide a reliable foundation for dealing with ongoing difficulties.
Internalization and Long-Term Adaptation
As these coping mechanisms become entrenched, they often shift from temporary solutions to core aspects of identity. The process of internalizing these traits can transform them from external adaptations into fundamental components of self-perception. This internalization reflects a shift from using these traits as tools for control to embodying them as integral parts of one’s character.
Insight
Consider the evolution of coping strategies from practical responses to ingrained habits. Initially, a woman might adopt masculine traits to manage immediate stress, such as being more assertive in confrontations or emotionally detached in challenging situations. As these traits become more ingrained, they begin to shape her self-perception and daily interactions, turning what was once a survival tactic into a defining aspect of her identity.
Impact on Emotional Expression
The adoption of masculine traits as coping mechanisms can lead to changes in emotional expression and vulnerability. Women who prioritize control and rationality may find it challenging to express or even recognize their emotional needs. This shift can create a façade of strength and self-sufficiency, masking deeper feelings of insecurity and vulnerability that are not easily addressed within this new framework of control.
Insight
Imagine a woman who has become adept at managing stress through rationality and emotional detachment. While these traits help her maintain control, they can also limit her ability to connect with her emotions and those of others. The focus on control and self-sufficiency can create a barrier to deeper emotional expression and intimacy, as the adopted traits become a shield against vulnerability rather than a reflection of her true emotional landscape.
Yes, parenting and early family dynamics can significantly influence how women relate to their feminine traits. Here’s how these factors can impact a woman’s perception of femininity:
4. Parental Role Models and Gender Expectations
A woman’s view of femininity is often shaped by the role models she encounters during childhood, particularly her mother or other female figures in her family. If these role models embodied traits that were undervalued or seen as weak in her cultural context, she might internalize these views. For instance, if her mother was consistently undervalued or faced criticism for her nurturing qualities, the woman may come to see these traits as liabilities rather than strengths.
Insight:
Imagine a young girl growing up with a mother who is frequently belittled or dismissed for her empathetic nature or domestic roles. This negative reinforcement can lead the girl to associate femininity with weakness or lack of success. As a result, she might reject her own feminine qualities and adopt traits she perceives as more valued or powerful, often modeled after figures who exhibit more traditionally masculine behaviors.
Family Dynamics and Gender Roles
Family dynamics and the roles assigned to each gender within a household can also play a critical role. If a woman grew up in a family where traditional gender roles were rigidly enforced, she might feel pressured to conform to these roles to gain approval or avoid criticism. Conversely, if she witnessed her female relatives struggling with their feminine roles or being unfairly burdened, she might develop a desire to distance herself from these traits to avoid similar experiences.
Insight
Consider a woman raised in a household where traditional gender roles dictated that women handle all domestic responsibilities while men pursued professional success. Observing her mother’s struggles with these roles and the lack of recognition or support might lead her to adopt more masculine traits, viewing them as a way to break free from restrictive expectations and assert her own identity.
Impact of Parental Attitudes on Self-Perception
The attitudes and beliefs of parents about gender roles can deeply influence a woman’s self-perception and her relationship with her own femininity. If parents exhibit preferences for masculine traits or express disdain for traditional feminine qualities, their children may internalize these attitudes. This can result in women undervaluing their own feminine attributes and embracing traits that align more closely with their parents’ expectations.
Insight
Imagine a woman whose parents frequently praised traits like ambition and competitiveness while dismissing qualities like sensitivity and nurturing. Internalizing these attitudes, she might come to see her natural femininity as less valuable and strive to embody the traits that garnered her parents’ approval. This adaptation can lead to a disconnect from her own feminine identity and a preference for traits that align with her parents’ values.
Modeling Behavior and Gender Identity
The behavior of parental figures and other influential adults can set a precedent for how a woman perceives her own gender identity. If women in her family or community demonstrated strength and success through traditionally masculine traits, she might be more inclined to adopt these traits herself. This modeling can create a sense that femininity is incompatible with success or empowerment, leading her to reject feminine traits in favor of those seen as more effective or prestigious.
Insight
Consider a young woman who observes that the successful and respected figures in her life are predominantly characterized by traits like decisiveness and control. This observation can lead her to adopt similar traits to emulate their success and gain similar respect, pushing her away from expressing or valuing her inherent femininity.
