The Science of Love: Is it Really Blind?

There’s a reason why Shakespeare’s quote, “love is blind,” has stood the test of time. 

We’ve all been there – head over heels for someone, ignoring all the warning signs and red flags. It’s a phenomenon explored in countless movies, books, and even reality TV shows (hello, Love is Blind!).

When we’re in the throes of love, our brains start firing on all cylinders, and not always in the most logical way. We’re willing to overlook flaws, make excuses for bad behavior, and generally act somewhat irrational.

But why does this happen? Well, scientists have actually found that feelings of love and drug addictions form at the same place in the brain.

Yup, you read that right. Love is a drug, and we’re all addicts.

Is Love Really Blind? The Science Behind Our Heart’s Decision

Picture this: you’re walking down the street, minding your own business, when suddenly, you see them—the one. Your heart skips a beat, your palms get sweaty, and you can’t help but smile like a complete goofball. Ah, love. It’s a beautiful thing.

Chances are, at this moment, you are blind. No, we’re not talking about the physical kind of blindness. We’re talking about the kind of blindness that happens in your brain.

According to scientists at University College London, when we fall in love, our brain decides to shut off its logic receptors and instead burn floaty pink heart bubbles and happy thoughts instead of glucose. 

Scientists found that romantic love suppresses “neural activity” associated with the critical social assessment of other people and negative emotions.

So, what does that mean, exactly? 

It means that when you’re in love, you’re less likely to notice your partner’s flaws and more likely to focus on their positive qualities. It’s like putting on rose-colored glasses, except instead of glasses, it’s your brain.

Of course, this can be both a good thing and a bad thing. On the one hand, you’re more likely to overlook your partner’s annoying habits. On the other hand, it also means that you might miss some red flags that would be obvious to anyone else.

So, is love really blind? Well, it’s complicated. But one thing is for sure: when it comes to matters of the heart, our brains have a mind of their own.

Of course, it’s not all bad. Falling in love can be a fantastic, life-changing experience. It can bring us joy, happiness, and a sense of completeness. It’s essential to remember that love isn’t always rational. 

However, when blinded by it, we can make mistakes and hurt ourselves and others. So, step back and try to see things clearly the next time you fall head over heels. 

For now, we want to tell you about the 5 things love blinds us to when in a relationship.

1. Love Can Blind Us To Believe Our Partner Is Perfect

As a hopeless romantic, I’ve fallen in love more times than I can count. And every time, I’ve noticed the same pattern: I become blinded by love and fail to see any flaws in my partner. It’s as if Cupid’s arrow has hit me so hard that rose-colored glasses cloud my vision.

I remember one particular relationship where I was head over heels for this guy. He was charming, witty, and had a smile that could light up a room. I thought to myself, “This is it. He’s the one.” And in my mind, he was perfect. Absolutely flawless.

But as time passed, I began to notice certain things about him that didn’t sit well with me. He was always late for our dates, didn’t have a steady job, and tended to be selfish. These things didn’t bother me before because I was too infatuated to notice.

It’s a common phenomenon that many couples experience. When we’re in the early stages of a relationship, we’re so caught up in the thrill of it all that we fail to see any red flags. We’re too busy admiring our partner’s strengths that we overlook their weaknesses.

The things we find endearing in our partner at the beginning of their relationship now drive us crazy.

The truth is, no one is perfect. We all have flaws and imperfections. And when we’re in love, it’s essential to recognize that. It’s important to see our partners for who they truly are, flaws and all.

So, the next time you fall in love and feel like your partner can do no wrong, take a step back and try to see them objectively. Remember that they’re not perfect, and that’s okay. Love them for who they are, flaws and all.

2. Love Can Blind Us To Logic & Reason

People in love are known to do crazy things. They put up with behavior from their partners that they would never tolerate from anyone else. They make excuses for their loved ones, even when it’s obvious they’re in the wrong.

But when does love become an excuse for abuse? When is it time to draw the line?

• He hits her, but she stays with him because she loves him.

• She insults him in public, but he stays with her because he can’t imagine life without her.

It’s easy for outsiders to judge and say, “Why doesn’t he just leave her?” or “Why does she put up with that?” But the truth is love blinds us to logic and reason. 

That’s why we need friends who are willing to take off those glasses and show us what we’re missing. They’re the ones who will say, “Hey, that’s not okay. You deserve better.”

But even the best-intentioned friends can’t always get through to us. When we’re in love, we’re like superheroes with indestructible shields. We can deflect any criticism, any warning, any piece of advice.

That’s why educating ourselves about the signs of abuse is important, so we can recognize them even when we’re blinded by love.

Did you know that:

• One in three women and one in four men have experienced physical violence from a partner.

• Verbal abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse and can lead to depression, anxiety, and PTSD.

Love should never be an excuse for emotional or physical abuse. Don’t let love blind you to logic.

3. Love Can Blind Us To Believe We Only Need Our Partner

When we fall in love, it’s easy to get swept away by passion and excitement. Our brains flood with dopamine and oxytocin, making us feel like nothing else in the world matters. But as we focus all our attention on our new flame, we often forget the other people in our lives who are just as important.

I learned this lesson the hard way in high school. I was head over heels for a guy and spent all my time with him. I didn’t even notice when my friendships started to fade away. Looking back, I can’t even remember how it happened. I was so wrapped up in my romantic feelings that I didn’t see how I was neglecting the people who had been there for me all along.

It wasn’t until I saw my other friends doing the same thing that I realized what I had done. I couldn’t be annoyed with them for abandoning me when I had done the exact same thing. I had let my obsession with love blind me to the importance of all the other relationships in my life.

But once I opened my eyes, I saw just how valuable those other relationships were. My friends were always there for me, no matter what. 

They listened to me when I needed to talk, cheered me up when I was feeling and celebrated my successes with me. I realized I needed them just as much as my boyfriend.

And you know what? My boyfriend needed them too. He needed to get to know my friends and family and see the different sides of me that he might not have seen otherwise. It made our relationship stronger and more well-rounded.

So, if you’re head-over-heels in love right now, that’s great! But don’t forget all the other people who love and support you. Put on your glasses and see the bigger picture – you’ll be glad you did.

• Tip: If you’re in a new relationship, keep up with your friendships too. Schedule regular hangouts and make sure your partner gets to know them too.

4. Love Can Blind Us To Believe Our Value Is Less Than

Love is a powerful emotion. It can make us feel like we’re on top of the world, but it can also leave us feeling lost and alone. When we’re in love, losing sight of our self-worth is easy. 

We’re willing to do anything and everything to make our partner happy. We put their needs before ours and even tolerate behavior that we know isn’t right. We do all this hoping to be loved and valued in return. But what happens when the relationship ends? 

Have you ever found yourself asking, “What’s wrong with me?” after a breakup? It’s a question that has haunted us all at some point. We blame ourselves for not being enough or being worthy of someone’s love and attention. 

We analyze every detail, wondering where we went wrong. We ask ourselves how we could have been better or how we could have changed to make ourselves more valuable to our partner. But this is never a question we need to ask.

Humans have an innate desire to be loved and valued above all others. We want to feel special and unique. But we don’t need someone else to validate our worth. We are already valued, loved, and precious in the eyes of our Creator.

It’s easy to forget this truth when we’re amid heartbreak. We become blinded by our emotions and lose sight of our true value. But it’s important to remember that our worth isn’t tied to our relationship status. We are valuable simply because we exist.

• We are valued because we are unique individuals created with purpose and intention.

• We are loved because we are children of God, who loves us unconditionally.

• We are precious because we are worthy of love and respect simply by being who we are.

You don’t need someone else to validate your worth. You are valuable simply because you exist.

5. Love Can Blind Us To Common Sense

Have you ever been so in love that you couldn’t think straight? You know, those moments where your heartbeat quickens, your palms sweat, and your mind goes blank? Yeah, those moments. As it turns out, love can make us do pretty crazy things.

Stuff like making major decisions too early, losing focus in other areas, and not listening to friends seems to happen more frequently when we’re in love. Love has taken over, leaving our brains in the dust.

But don’t worry; you’re not alone. We’ve all been there. 

In fact, I remember being so infatuated with someone that I completely ignored all the warning signs that they were not right for me. I was convinced we were soulmates and nothing could stand in our way. Spoiler alert: we were not soulmates, and plenty stood in our way.

It’s not that we’re always blithering idiots when we’re in love. These are just things I’ve learned. Being aware of these tendencies helps me seek wisdom despite my blindness.

• Major Decisions: When we’re in love, it’s easy to get swept up in the moment and make decisions we may regret later. At that time, I decided to buy a condo with someone I had only been dating for 13 months. Yeah, not my brightest idea. Taking a step back and thinking things through before making any big moves is essential.

• Losing Focus: Love can be all-consuming, leaving little room for anything else. Suddenly, hobbies, friendships, and even work can take a backseat to our relationship. But it’s important to remember that we are more than just one aspect of our lives. It’s okay to prioritize your relationship, but don’t forget the other things that make you who you are.

• Ignoring Advice: We all have friends and family who care about us and want the best for us. Sometimes, they can see things more clearly than we can when we’re in the thick of it. But when we’re in love, it can be hard to listen to their advice. We think we know what’s best for us, even if it goes against what our loved ones are saying. But trust me; they have your best interests at heart.

Conclusion

So, the next time you fall head over heels, remember to keep your wits about you. Love may be blind, but that doesn’t mean we must be. Take a deep breath, listen to your gut, and don’t forget to seek wisdom despite your blindness.

All in all, when we look at the science behind love, it is clear that neither logic nor foresight is a substantial part of the picture. Love can be a powerful force that blinds us from reality, leading to some not-so-great consequences in our relationships and even within ourselves. 

Those moments of blindness lead us down roads that bring pain or misunderstandings to both parties. The key lies in understanding why this happens and navigating those journeys with purpose and clarity. 

We must protect our hearts and our heads because there are levels of trust and care involved. Ultimately, love is blind, but if you know, it can be beautiful! 

Full of joy, support, adventure, and fulfillment – then learning to manage it responsibly is the best way forward. If you find this blog helpful, we’d love for you to share it with your community!