“Traumatic events of the earliest years of infancy and childhood are not lost but, like a child’s footprints in wet cement, are often preserved lifelong. Time does not heal the wounds that occur in those earliest years; time conceals them. They are not lost; they are embodied .” VJ Felitti
As a survivor of childhood trauma, I had a personal theory that the sexual abuse and trauma I had experienced in childhood had a direct impact on my physical and mental health as an adult.
Throughout my life, I discovered that childhood trauma specifically in the form of sexual abuse has a direct effect on the development of my personality, my inner voice, my self-perception, and even my physiology.
My childhood trauma came up every time I faced extreme stress or had a trauma to deal with as an adult. After leaving my last job, my regression was obvious not only to me but also to my therapist and my family. It became part of the focus of my therapy.
For me to recover, I needed to come to terms with the past.
Perhaps you are in the same boat, but your childhood trauma isn’t so clear. Maybe you believe that the things that you went through were “normal” things to experience in childhood.
Related Reading: What Is Childhood Trauma
Below is a test to assess the extent of your childhood trauma.
Childhood Trauma Test
Remember you should answer these trauma test questions about things that happened prior to your eighteenth birthday. Grab a sheet of paper to tally up your yes answers. Every yes is worth 1 point (the number will create your ace score).
1. Did a parent or another adult in the household ever swear at you, insult you, put you down, or humiliate you? Yes No
2. Did a parent or another adult in the household ever act in a way that made you afraid that you might experience physical abuse? Yes No
3. Did a parent or another adult in the household ever push, grab, slap, or throw something at you? Yes No
4. Did a parent or another adult in the household ever hit you so hard that you had marks on your body or were injured? Yes No
5. Did an adult or person at least five years older than you ever touch or fondle you or ever make any attempt to touch you inappropriately or sexually abuse you? Yes No
6. Did an adult or person at least five years older ever force you to sexually touch their body or perform sexual activities for their pleasure? Yes No
7. Did you feel that no one in your family loved you or thought you were important or special? Yes No
8. Did you feel that your family members didn’t look out for one another, feel close to one another, or support one another? Yes No
9. Did you feel that you didn’t have enough to eat, had to wear dirty clothes, and had no one to protect you? Yes No
10. Were your parents (or caregivers) ever too drunk or high to take care of you or take you to the doctor if you needed it? Yes No
11. Was a biological parent ever lost to you through divorce, abandonment, or another reason? Yes No
12. Did you ever see either your parents (or caregivers) pushed, grabbed, slapped, or had something thrown at them? Or were they kicked, bitten, hit with a fist, or hit with something hard? Or were they ever threatened with a gun or knife? Yes No
13. Did you live with anyone who was a problem drinker or alcoholic or who used street drugs? Yes No
14. Was a family member diagnosed with depression or suffer from a mental illness, or did a household member attempt suicide? Yes No
15. Did a household member go to prison? Yes No
Understanding Your Adverse Childhood Experiences Score
Add all your numbers together from the above trauma test (this is your Adverse Childhood Experiences Score). We hope that you understand that your score is just a score; there is no pass or fail. Your (Adverse Childhood Experiences) ACE score is simply the first step before setting out on a healing journey.
This childhood trauma test dispels the secrecy and shame associated with trauma. For many of us, just answering the questions above helps normalize the conversation about childhood trauma and how it impacts our lives.
Remember, making it okay to talk about what happened removes the power that secrecy so often has.
I Took The Childhood Trauma Test Now What
First congrats on taking the childhood trauma test and starting to work through any potential physical or mental health issues. Now that you have taken your test, we want you to ask yourself the following questions:
How old was I at the time of these events?
The earlier that certain patterns of adverse childhood experiences begin, the more difficult it is for a child to understand their situation or find help.
Are there adverse childhood experiences that I don’t remember?
Many adverse childhood experiences happen before we are old enough to hold memories. Some of your responses may be based more on your implicit memory—how you feel— rather than your explicit memory or your recall of specific events. No one can remember what happened in the first years of life.
You may have implicit memories that are “known but not remembered.” Yet they still wield an influence over you that is just as powerful as explicit memories. You may not remember them, but you still relive them. Think of situations that make you uncomfortable and see if you can track back to a reason for your unease.
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What was my relationship to the person or persons involved in the childhood trauma that I faced?
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Thinking of the traumas you uncovered, were any from people you trusted and depended on for your survival?
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How much support did I receive from other caregivers in my life?
If, for instance, one parent was unreliable, was there another parent or family member who looked out for you, to whom you were emotionally attached?
How Can I Start Healing From My Childhood Trauma?
Perhaps you answered some of the questions above and learned even more about your adverse childhood experiences and how it correlates to your mental health or any mental illnesses you may have. Next, we encourage you to share your findings with a person you trust to see if they have further insights.
You might also consider taking your childhood trauma questionnaire into your next exam with your physician, therapist, or health-care professional. You can explain to them that you believe there may be a direct association between the childhood abuse you faced and whatever you face today. Ask for their professional thoughts.
To be clear: You’re not diagnosing yourself with a mental illness or asking to change prescriptions or giving tips on how said professional should care for you. The goal in sharing this information is to inform them of the link between your past and your present.
Related Reading: How To Heal From Childhood Trauma
Why Should You Share This Information?
For starters, if you are equipped with your childhood trauma test results, your healthcare practitioner will acknowledge what happened to you. When your story is acknowledged, it can provide a sense of instantaneous relief.
In an instance, a mechanism for healing is set in place; just one conversation about the fact that ACEs matter.
Is Therapy The Best Option To Cure Childhood Trauma?
Many mental health professionals have long misunderstood treatment for childhood trauma, while the general public often believes that it is cureable through therapy.
However, miraculous cures do not come quickly, as therapy does not magically erase or cure childhood trauma. At best, a mental health professional can assist a client in coming to terms and accepting what has happened and alleviating acute symptoms- meaning their traumatic experiences are no longer holding the child back.
In other words, a mental health professional is not addressing what is but what could be by moving beyond the childhood trauma. Cognitive and behaviorally oriented therapies will assist in alleviating symptoms associated with childhood trauma.
Is Total Healing From Childhood Trauma Possible?
While there is no universal answer, as healing is on a case-by-case basis, we’re interested in helping our clients reach their full potential, especially considering the challenges they may have faced. We believe effective treatment for childhood trauma should delve into the deeper aspects of their experiences.
Research shows that traumatic memories are stored in complex ways. In the early years of a child’s life, the brain’s right hemisphere, which is linked to emotions, plays a crucial role. This can make it challenging for individuals who have experienced early trauma to consciously recall or discuss these memories, especially in traditional “talk” therapy, where language is key.
Traumatic memories are often stored in an emotionally primitive state, making it difficult for the brain to process them coherently. When an event is particularly shocking or painful, the person may be overwhelmed with intense emotions or dissociate from the pain to protect their psyche. For example, witnessing a horrifying event like watching a loved one experience physical abuse, death, or torture can create memories that the body retains. Still, the brain struggles to make sense of it in a logical way.
Therapeutic Methods For Healing Childhood Trauma
To truly address trauma, the treatment needs to explore it from various angles. Skilled mental health professionals act like detectives, gathering information from sources beyond the client. This helps uncover details about traumatic events, identify triggers, and fill in any missing memories.
Trauma often happens in a specific setting, so learning as much as possible about that environment is crucial. For instance, if a child went through tough times during a particular season, even small seasonal changes could bring back tough memories for them.
Knowing these factors that worsen things can help the therapist include them in the child’s or adult’s treatment. This can prevent or lessen potential triggers and, in some situations, help the person find meaning in their traumatic experiences.
Good therapists pay close attention to their clients. Besides just talking, they might ask about the body’s reactions during trauma recall. Where does it hurt or feel numb? What’s the nature of that pain or lack of feeling?
When dealing with child patients who can’t always answer questions verbally, therapists can encourage them to express themselves through imagination, drawing, or adding texture and color to their feelings and memories. This approach is also helpful for older children and adults, as traumatic memories are often stored in a pre-verbal state, making non-verbal techniques effective in accessing both memory and pain.
How A Therapist Can Help You Or Your Child Heal?
Once a tapping into old memories and pain, replacing them with new, positive memories is crucial. This essential step is often overlooked in therapy but can be most successfully achieved within the family environment.
If the trauma happens within the family, the family system may need external help to create new experiences. Experiential therapies help build new pathways in the brain to replace compromised ones.
Think of a child’s development like a record—the grooves are deepest where a song has been played the most. If there’s a scratch on the record (childhood trauma), the needle follows the scratch instead of the usual grooves of typical child development.
With experiential therapies, we create new grooves—maybe not the ones nature originally intended, but strong enough to overcome the scratches and possibly with even greater potential.
Like all child development, trauma treatment for children must happen within the context of their relationship with the primary caregiver(s). Unfortunately, many therapists find it challenging to work with parents in the therapy room, leading to most parents waiting outside while their children work with the therapist alone.
